Imagine sitting on a bench. Thoughts come, feelings come, and you do not have to do a single thing with any of them. How would that feel?
For me it is instant relief. The moment I remember I do not have to act on a thought, something in me lets go.
That is the gift this week. You are not all these thoughts. You are the one who gets to sit back and watch them come and go.
There is the thought. And there is the one who notices the thought. They are not the same.
That is the whole turn. You did not invite most of what arrives in your head. It just turns up, the way your heart beats without asking you first. You were never meant to empty the place out. You were meant to stop climbing on every train that pulls in.
The moment you see the thought instead of being it, something loosens. The thought is still there. You are just back on the bench, watching it go.
Tonight, lie there and imagine you are sitting on the bench. A thought arrives, like a train pulling in. You do not have to do anything with it. Just notice it, "ah, there is a thought", and watch it roll out again.
You do not have to clear the whole station. You only have to remember you are sitting down.
Which thought have you been treating as the truth this week, when it was only ever a thought passing through?
This week, I will remember I am not my thoughts.
Years ago I was on a group call, and I heard Ken Wilber say "I have thoughts. I am not those thoughts". The moment I heard it, it gave me instant peace.
It sounds small written down. But that little sentence just gave enough space between my awareness and the thought. And that was all it took for me to have a breakthrough. And once I could see a thought, I had a choice. Give it my attention, or let it pass.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have peace ever after, but when I am aware it does give me a choice.
Over time I noticed something. The more I chose which thoughts to give my attention to, the more of those thoughts turned up. The subconscious was taking note. It watched which ones I paid attention to, which ones I put effort into, and it brought me more of the same. Similar to when you tell a child your favourite colour sweet is green (mine normally is). They will remember that and reward you with green sweets for decades to come.
I still climb aboard the wrong train at three in the morning. We all do. The practice is not never forgetting. It is remembering a little sooner each time.
I'm not a huge train fan but it does work when we think of train of thoughts.
Two from this week that sit right beside this:
Stillness in the Storms 170, The Mind That Will Not Be Quiet: on the overthinking mind, the 3am loop, and how to stop boarding every thought. Listen here. Also on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Inner Peace Meditations 106, Become the Watcher: a short practice for watching the trains of thought come and go. Listen here. Also on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
And one just for my supporters. I have recorded a short video meditation, Peace right where you are, only for the people who keep this work going. A few quiet minutes to find that bench again. Watch it over on Buy Me a Coffee.
Be gentle with yourself this week. The thoughts will keep coming. You can always sit back down.
Much love, Steven
Thank you to everyone who treated me to a coffee or supported me through PayPal this week: Sergio, Fran, Karin, Ellen, Kellee, Jane, Alyce, Marcie, Kim, Benjamin, Caroline, Alice, MyHerb and Darren. It means more than you know. And to the kind anonymous souls and everyone on Insight Timer, thank you too.
If you would like to support, listen to the podcast, or just say hello: stevenwebb.uk