Most mornings, it takes two people between sixty and ninety minutes to get me out of bed.
It is often painful. In this heat, it is especially difficult for my carers too. It is not a routine I imagine I will ever look forward to.
Being paralysed adds friction to almost everything. Nothing is ever simple.
But that morning routine has taught me a lot. It leaves me deeply grateful for my carers. I sometimes think of my carers as everyday bodhisattvas. Not because they are Buddhists, but because through their care and their simple presence, they teach me gratitude and how much we depend on one another.
The difficult mornings also help me appreciate the smoother ones. Without the rough days, ease would quickly become something else I stopped noticing.
That does not mean pain is good, or that every difficult moment needs a silver lining. It simply means that if I wait for all the friction to disappear before allowing life to be okay, I will be waiting a very long time.
It is all grist for the mill. Even this has to become part of the practice. Any practice is not limited to sitting on a cushion or at a retreat. (I had to look up grist because I grew up thinking it was grit to grind the stones but grist is the corn itself, which makes a whole lot more sense.)
This week, notice the words I’ll be happy when...
Pause. Take one breath. Ask yourself, What is enough for this day?
Name one thing that does not need to improve before you can appreciate it.
Then carry on. The difficulty may still be difficult. We are just not asking it to disappear before we notice what is already here.
Some mornings take ninety minutes to begin. They still count.
On this week's podcast I go a little deeper into the search for happiness. Yes I blame Disney and maybe the optimism of our childhood when we may believe happiness is a place to get to.
We do not need a life without friction to find a little contentment inside it.
Much love, Steven
Stillness in the Storms 173, Happily Never After. Why the finish line keeps moving, and how we can keep growing without postponing our lives. Listen here. Also on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Inner Peace Meditations 110, Morning Meditation for Health Anxiety: Befriending the Worried Part. A gentle practice for mornings when worry arrives before your feet touch the floor. Listen here. Also on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Thank you to Tim, Patricia, Jess and Cheryl, who supported my work this week. And thank you to the kind anonymous supporter and everyone supporting through Insight Timer. You help keep the podcasts free from adverts.
If you would like to support, listen to the podcasts, or just say hello: stevenwebb.uk