Before you read on, just pause for a moment. Let your eyes soften. Notice the weight of your body wherever you are sitting or lying. There is nothing you need to fix right now. Just this breath. Just this moment.
“Winter returns seven times in the spring before summer arrives.” - Scandinavian proverb
(I came across this proverb this week and it just felt right. Sometimes the cold comes back, even when the warmth has started. And that is OK.)
I mised sending this on Sunday, and a few of you reached out to check in. That was really lovely and I want you to know it meant a lot.
I am heading into hospital tomorrow for an operation on Thursday. When you have sat in a wheelchair for 35 years, your body lets you know when something needs attention. Having a stoma bag has been a brilliant upgrade to my life, genuinely one of the best things that has happened to me. But there are still a few bits that need sorting, and this is one of them.
I am hoping to be home by the weekend.
How do I deal with these moments? Honestly, I just do my best to stay where I am. I remind myself that it is what it is. There is not a lot I can do about it other than show up and trust the process.
And I keep coming back to the gift of impermanence. We often hear that word and think of loss. But impermanence is also the reason difficult things pass. It is the reason pain eases, worry lifts, and hard days give way to softer ones. Later today, things will be different than they are now. Tomorrow, different again. The moment I am in is not the moment I will always be in.
We do not always like change. But we love it when we are in situations we would rather not be in. It is the same force, and it is always working.
I am grateful for the NHS. I am grateful for all of you. And I am grateful that impermanence means I will not be in that operating theatre forever.
There may not be a podcast this week. Or if there is, it might be a small one from the hospital bed, like I did last time.
Be gentle with yourself this week.
And if you think of me on Thursday, just send a quiet moment of calm in all directions, the whole world needs it, including you..
Much love, Steven
Practice with me
Meditation: Morning Stillness for a Tough Day
A gentle practice for when life feels uncertain and your mind wants answers it cannot have yet.
Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
And you can always check out old episodes of Stillness in the Storms. I believe there's nearly 200. Perhaps go and check the very first one. That might give us all a bit of a laugh.
With gratitude to
Thank you to everyone who supported me with a coffee recently: Femke, Hannah, Andrew, Tracey, Helen, Stephen, Tiffany, Lynn, Jem, Ulysses, Kylin, and a few kind anonymous souls As well as Insight Timer. But I'm not sure I can take those names out. It means more than you know.
Stay in touch
If you would like to support, listen to the podcast, or just say hello: stevenwebb.uk