Happily Never After - Steven Webb

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What if the thing we keep chasing is the reason we cannot rest?

When I was six or seven, I was certain life would be sorted once I could ride my bike. I learnt, felt brilliant for a little while, and then Monday arrived. The finish line had moved again.

We do this with money, health, work, relationships, meditation and even inner peace. We tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when…” Yet when the thing arrives, it slowly becomes normal and another carrot appears ahead of us.

In this episode, I explore why wanting more is not the enemy, why happiness comes and goes, and why contentment may be a kinder aim. I share the image of the carrot that moves with the cart, the importance of pausing halfway up the mountain, and a simple practice for catching the moment we try to skip the life we are already living.

This is not about giving up our goals or pretending money, health and security do not matter. It is about taking the next step without making it responsible for finally allowing us to be here.

Stillness in the Storms is independent and advert free. To contact me, join the Weekly Calm or support my work, visit https://stevenwebb.uk

What is in this episode

(00:00) What if chasing happiness is stopping us from resting?
(00:55) Learning to ride a bike and discovering the feeling did not last
(02:00) The fairytale promise of happily ever after
(03:15) Thanking the people who keep the podcasts advert free
(03:50) The carrot that keeps moving with the cart
(05:10) Noticing the happiness that is already here
(06:10) Why wanting more can still be useful
(08:40) Pausing halfway up the mountain and looking back
(09:50) New headphones and how quickly better becomes normal
(10:25) How gain and loss change the way the same life feels
(12:30) Happiness, joy and sadness as experiences that come and go
(14:20) Asking what is enough for this day
(15:30) Finding life in its ordinary moments
(16:40) The “I’ll be happy when” practice
(17:50) Taking the next step without skipping this one

One practice for this week

When you hear yourself say, “I’ll be happy when,” or, “It will be okay when,” pause.

Notice what you are asking the next moment to give you. Then take one breath and let this moment be what it is. You can still take the next step. You just do not have to skip your life to get there.

Notable quotes from the recording

“What if the one thing you keep chasing is the reason you cannot be happy? Is the reason you cannot rest?” (00:00)

“If you’re not happy until you get that, you will never be happy.” (08:40)

“What is enough for this day? What is enough right now for you?” (14:20)

“When you stop chasing, you realize the carrot will return and it was there all along.” (16:20)

“The chase stops being a prison when you stop. Take the next step if it’s yours to take.” (17:50)

Thank you

Tim, Patricia, Jess and Cheryl. Your support helps keep Stillness in the Storms and Inner Peace Meditations free from adverts.