Steven Webb
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Podcast episodes

Why Is Everyone So Tired Right Now? How Awe Shrinks Worry

Why is everyone so tired right now? Not sleepy, world tired. Too much is changing too fast, our minds never come with an off switch, and we stay busy so we don’t have to feel it.

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Ask almost anyone how they are this week and listen to the first word. Tired. More than seven in ten American adults feel very tired or exhausted at least some days, and nine in ten adults in Britain felt high stress or pressure in the past year. Alvin Toffler saw it coming in 1970, before phones in our pockets and news all day long. Your body can be on the sofa while your mind is still on its feet, keeping watch. Busy works like a painkiller, so the moment we stop, it all arrives at once. We can’t slow the world down, so I talk about a word I don’t think I’ve ever used on this podcast. Awe. When we feel small in a good way, our worries get smaller too. Months after I broke my neck, they pushed me outside for fifteen minutes. All I could see was a car park, but the cold air on my lungs, wow. I went back to bed and slept for 24 hours.

One thing to try: This week, spend one minute with something bigger than you. The sky, the sea, an old tree, or the dust dancing in a patch of sunlight. Don’t name it, don’t fix it. Just look, and let it be big.

In this episode

  • (0:00) Ask anyone how they are, and the first word is tired
  • (2:23) Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock, written in 1970
  • (3:58) Your body’s on the sofa, your mind’s still on its feet
  • (4:56) Being busy works like a painkiller
  • (7:03) The word I’ve never used on this podcast: awe
  • (9:06) Months on a ward, then fifteen minutes in a car park
  • (12:24) The one minute practice
  • (14:08) Marcus Aurelius: is this necessary?

With gratitude to

Kasia, Jane, Christine, Danielle, Lindsey, Katherine, Vicki, Fiona, Rebecca and Lorna. A warm welcome to Raquel and Jane, my newest monthly supporters, and thank you to Jenna and Mia for raising theirs.

The companion meditation: Wisdom Within the Storm: A Meditation for Chaotic Times

Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for listening.

Steven

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

Wisdom Within the Storm: A Meditation for Chaotic Times

For the storm you can’t stop. Instead of fighting it or bracing against it, sit down in the middle and stay steady.

About 8 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath.

We bring to mind a storm you’ve known. Someone passing, losing a job, moving house, or the news getting a bit too much. Most of us fight a storm until we’re worn out, or brace and wait for it to pass. There’s a third way. Picture yourself in a big wise armchair, like the man at the end of the bar who finishes his drink while the fight breaks out around him. You can care and still not engage. We end with three wishes, starting with may I be steady even when I cannot be calm.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Overwhelmed by the News: Caring Without Drowning

How do you care about what’s happening in the world without it dragging you under? Practice first, news second. Then do one small thing and put it down.

Support me with a coffee and join my Weekly Calm every Sunday: stevenwebb.uk

The night I broke my neck, I only had to get through the next breath. My family were stood in the corridor with nothing to do, not knowing if I’d see the morning. That’s the harder seat, and now we’re all sat in it, every day, on a phone. Our hearts were built for a village, not 24 hour news. After the Boston bombing, people who watched six hours of coverage a day were more stressed than some of the people who were actually there. I’m a terrible news junkie myself, so I talk about the feed I keep deleting and putting back, Sid Owen from EastEnders, and why the brain can’t tell the telly from a war zone. Underneath the anger there’s usually a deep caring. The way through isn’t caring less.

One thing to try: Before you scroll in the morning, sit quietly for ten minutes and write a small gratitude list. Then read the news, let yourself feel it, do the one small thing if there is one, and put it down.

In this episode

  • (0:03) The night I broke my neck, and my family in the corridor
  • (1:31) Our hearts were built for a village
  • (2:07) The Boston bombing study: six hours of news a day
  • (4:50) The brain can’t tell the telly from a war zone
  • (6:14) Caring without drowning: what you can do at arm’s length
  • (7:32) Under the anger there’s a deep caring
  • (9:51) Rabbi Tarfon: you can’t finish the work, but you can’t walk away
  • (10:55) Thomas Merton and the frenzy of the activist

With gratitude to

Tamsyne, Bridie, Orsolya, Paul, Ciaran, Cynthia, Sarpa, Jens, Linda and Genevieve

The companion meditation: When the News Is Too Much: A Meditation to Care and Still Rest

Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for listening.

Steven

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

When the News Is Too Much: A Meditation to Care and Still Rest

When the news lands heavy and there’s nothing you can do. Breathe in what’s hard, breathe out a wish for them to be safe.

About 12 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath.

We breathe in what’s hard and breathe out a wish for people to be safe. It’s a gentle form of Tonglen. First we notice where a headline landed in the body, then we breathe a little of that out for you too. Then we widen it. Somewhere someone is making a neighbour a cup of tea, and a nurse is starting her night shift. The fire gets the pictures, but the people carrying the water are out there too, millions of them. We end with three wishes, and the reminder that you can care and still rest.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

We're All Terrible Meditators: The Art of Doing Nothing on Purpose

Are you bad at meditating? So is everyone. The mind wanders because that is its job. Meditation is not quieting it, it is noticing you have gone and coming back.

Support me with a coffee and join my Weekly Calm every Sunday: stevenwebb.uk

When I started, I thought meditation was sit down, be quiet, no thoughts, pure bliss. It lasted about 30 seconds. Then a teacher gave me the only instruction that ever worked: just sit and do nothing. His version had four letters. Your body knows how to breathe and your mind knows how to go quiet. The job is getting out of their way. Think of a snow globe. To settle the snow you do nothing, you just watch, and life will shake it up again anyway. Every time the mind wanders it is a happy accident, as Bob Ross would say. Smile, say thank you mind, and come back.

One thing to try: Get somewhere five minutes early and just sit in the car. Each time you catch the mind off in a story, smile, say thank you mind, and come back to what you can hear and feel. Five minutes, twice a day.

In this episode

  • (0:03) Winnie the Pooh, and why meditation is doing nothing on purpose
  • (1:19) The only instruction that ever worked: just sit and do nothing (his had four letters)
  • (2:22) The snow globe. To settle the snow, you do nothing
  • (3:45) You’re being thought. What’s your next thought going to be?
  • (4:23) We’re all terrible meditators, and why that is fine
  • (5:47) Bob Ross and the happy accident
  • (9:24) 178 podcasts and I’ve yet to find the one little thing that fixes everything
  • (13:15) Calvin and Hobbes, do a bit more nothing, and five minutes in the car

With gratitude to

Jess, David, Angi, Jeroen, Jose and Jill, Helen, Tracey, Carol, Hayden, Sarafena, Cheryl and Strength from Within Yoga, and new monthly supporter Rowan

The companion meditation: Nothing to Get Right: A Peace Meditation With Little Instruction

Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for listening.

Steven

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

Nothing to Get Right: A Peace Meditation With Little Instruction

Tired of being told how to breathe? This one barely says a word. Nothing to get right, nothing to get wrong.

About 10 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath. Mostly quiet.

No one tells you where to put your hands. We just sit together and do very little. Your mind will wander off, to the shopping or what’s for tea, and that is fine. That is what minds do. We notice we’ve been away and come back to this moment. That isn’t failing at meditation. That is the practice. Near the end, a minute of just listening, doing nothing with what you hear. Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be done just by becoming aware.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Gates Not Walls: A Meditation for Healthy Boundaries

Built a wall to keep the world out, and now it feels like a prison? A meditation for boundaries with a gate.

About 11 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath.

Imagine a wall around you, all the way round, to keep out everything that stings. At first it feels wonderful. Then the strange thing: inside the wall our own strength goes soft, like a leg in plaster. And one day we need people again, and the world never reads our rules. So we try a garden with a gate instead, and tend what grows inside it. A little wisdom, a little strength, a little kindness. Then three gentle wishes with a hand on your heart. May I be safe with my gate open. May I be loved just as I am. May I be strong enough to let the world in. A boundary was never meant to be a prison. It is a garden edge, and you hold the key.

The companion talk episode: Gates, Not Thorns: Are Your Boundaries a Prison?

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Calm Inside the Not Knowing: A Meditation for Uncertainty

Waiting to hear back, and the mind keeps playing out how it might go? A meditation for the fear of not knowing what comes next.

About 11 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath.

The mind hates a gap, so it fills it. One version, then another, then another. Not because it is broken, because it cares. But you can’t steady the tide by grabbing hold of it. So we sit on a quiet beach and let the days come and go like the weather. A worry arrives like a wave. You don’t judge it and you don’t grab a surfboard. You watch it go back out. Then one quiet question: who is doing the watching? The thoughts come and go, and the watcher stays. It has seen every day of your life arrive and pass. Three wishes to finish: may I trust myself with whatever comes, may the not knowing within find a little calm, may I know I am held, even here in uncertainty.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

What Will I Miss? My Story for World Suicide Prevention Day

What would you miss? This episode is about suicide, my granddad’s and my own, and the one question that kept me here. If you need help right now, the numbers are just below.

If you need help right now

  • UK and Ireland: Samaritans, call 116 123. Free, any hour, any day.
  • UK only, if you cannot talk: text SHOUT to 85258. Free, 24 hours.
  • US: call or text 988.
  • Australia: Lifeline, 13 11 14.

I was 12 when my granddad went missing from the farm. The next morning Andy woke me and said they had found him. At 18 my heart was broken and I tried to end my life, and later that year I broke my neck and lay in a hospital bed thinking I was better off not here. Years on, at rock bottom again, I wrote a note, printed it, left it face down and went out in my chair with a plan. I sat there for two hours. What stopped me was my stepdaughter Kember and one thought: I wonder what she will become. I did not want to die. I just wanted the pain to stop, and I think that is true of almost everybody who says they do not want to be here. Around the world 727,000 people a year die by suicide, one every 43 seconds. Three in four are men, and the men most at risk are 50 to 54, which is right where I am. So this is the conversation.

One thing to try: If you are anywhere near that door, ask one question. Not what will I lose, not what will I gain. What will I miss? Then hang on for a few more weeks. And if it is someone you love, ask them: just for a moment, tell me what you would miss.

In this episode

  • (0:00) Who World Suicide Prevention Day is for, and a warning
  • (1:47) 727,000 a year. Three in four are men, and I am the age most at risk
  • (2:53) I was 12 when my granddad went missing from the farm
  • (4:21) 18, heartbroken, and a cry for help
  • (5:35) Lying in hospital with a broken neck, thinking I was better off not here
  • (7:12) The note on the computer, and two hours at the edge
  • (9:21) The thought that stopped me: I wonder what she will become
  • (10:39) A permanent solution to a temporary problem
  • (13:46) The text my daughter sends us now, and why it works
  • (15:58) What will I miss? The one question, and the numbers to ring

Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for listening.

Steven

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

Soften the Self-Blame: A Gentle Morning Meditation

Woke up replaying something you said or did? A gentle morning meditation for the voice inside that says it was your fault.

About 10 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath.

We don’t argue with the voice. It thinks it is helping, like a guard who shouts to keep you safe. Terrible manners, but a good heart. So we thank it, find where the blame sits in the body, usually the chest or low in the belly, and let that place soften a little on each out breath. Nothing to fix. Then three wishes, said slowly: may I be kind to myself today, may I put down what I cannot change, may I know I am enough, even on the days I get it wrong. You are allowed to begin the day forgiven. I’m human. It’s what we do.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)