Steven Webb
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Podcast episodes

Nothing to Get Right: A Peace Meditation With Little Instruction

Tired of being told how to breathe? This one barely says a word. Nothing to get right, nothing to get wrong.

About 10 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath. Mostly quiet.

No one tells you where to put your hands. We just sit together and do very little. Your mind will wander off, to the shopping or what’s for tea, and that is fine. That is what minds do. We notice we’ve been away and come back to this moment. That isn’t failing at meditation. That is the practice. Near the end, a minute of just listening, doing nothing with what you hear. Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be done just by becoming aware.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Gates Not Walls: A Meditation for Healthy Boundaries

Built a wall to keep the world out, and now it feels like a prison? A meditation for boundaries with a gate.

About 11 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath.

Imagine a wall around you, all the way round, to keep out everything that stings. At first it feels wonderful. Then the strange thing: inside the wall our own strength goes soft, like a leg in plaster. And one day we need people again, and the world never reads our rules. So we try a garden with a gate instead, and tend what grows inside it. A little wisdom, a little strength, a little kindness. Then three gentle wishes with a hand on your heart. May I be safe with my gate open. May I be loved just as I am. May I be strong enough to let the world in. A boundary was never meant to be a prison. It is a garden edge, and you hold the key.

The companion talk episode: Gates, Not Thorns: Are Your Boundaries a Prison?

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

What Will I Miss? My Story for World Suicide Prevention Day

What would you miss? This episode is about suicide, my granddad’s and my own, and the one question that kept me here. If you need help right now, the numbers are just below.

If you need help right now

  • UK and Ireland: Samaritans, call 116 123. Free, any hour, any day.
  • UK only, if you cannot talk: text SHOUT to 85258. Free, 24 hours.
  • US: call or text 988.
  • Australia: Lifeline, 13 11 14.

I was 12 when my granddad went missing from the farm. The next morning Andy woke me and said they had found him. At 18 my heart was broken and I tried to end my life, and later that year I broke my neck and lay in a hospital bed thinking I was better off not here. Years on, at rock bottom again, I wrote a note, printed it, left it face down and went out in my chair with a plan. I sat there for two hours. What stopped me was my stepdaughter Kember and one thought: I wonder what she will become. I did not want to die. I just wanted the pain to stop, and I think that is true of almost everybody who says they do not want to be here. Around the world 727,000 people a year die by suicide, one every 43 seconds. Three in four are men, and the men most at risk are 50 to 54, which is right where I am. So this is the conversation.

One thing to try: If you are anywhere near that door, ask one question. Not what will I lose, not what will I gain. What will I miss? Then hang on for a few more weeks. And if it is someone you love, ask them: just for a moment, tell me what you would miss.

In this episode

  • (0:00) Who World Suicide Prevention Day is for, and a warning
  • (1:47) 727,000 a year. Three in four are men, and I am the age most at risk
  • (2:53) I was 12 when my granddad went missing from the farm
  • (4:21) 18, heartbroken, and a cry for help
  • (5:35) Lying in hospital with a broken neck, thinking I was better off not here
  • (7:12) The note on the computer, and two hours at the edge
  • (9:21) The thought that stopped me: I wonder what she will become
  • (10:39) A permanent solution to a temporary problem
  • (13:46) The text my daughter sends us now, and why it works
  • (15:58) What will I miss? The one question, and the numbers to ring

Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for listening.

Steven

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

Calm Inside the Not Knowing: A Meditation for Uncertainty

Waiting to hear back, and the mind keeps playing out how it might go? A meditation for the fear of not knowing what comes next.

About 11 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath.

The mind hates a gap, so it fills it. One version, then another, then another. Not because it is broken, because it cares. But you can’t steady the tide by grabbing hold of it. So we sit on a quiet beach and let the days come and go like the weather. A worry arrives like a wave. You don’t judge it and you don’t grab a surfboard. You watch it go back out. Then one quiet question: who is doing the watching? The thoughts come and go, and the watcher stays. It has seen every day of your life arrive and pass. Three wishes to finish: may I trust myself with whatever comes, may the not knowing within find a little calm, may I know I am held, even here in uncertainty.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Soften the Self-Blame: A Gentle Morning Meditation

Woke up replaying something you said or did? A gentle morning meditation for the voice inside that says it was your fault.

About 10 minutes with Steven Webb’s calm voice and music underneath.

We don’t argue with the voice. It thinks it is helping, like a guard who shouts to keep you safe. Terrible manners, but a good heart. So we thank it, find where the blame sits in the body, usually the chest or low in the belly, and let that place soften a little on each out breath. Nothing to fix. Then three wishes, said slowly: may I be kind to myself today, may I put down what I cannot change, may I know I am enough, even on the days I get it wrong. You are allowed to begin the day forgiven. I’m human. It’s what we do.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Gates, Not Thorns: Are Your Boundaries a Prison?

Support Steven’s work. Treat him to a coffee stevenwebb.uk

Are your boundaries keeping you safe, or keeping you stuck? I have never liked the word. This week a reader called Katherine gave me a better one: gates, not thorns.

I have carers in my life 24 hours a day, so I could not build walls even if I wanted to. I had to grow the strength to let the world in instead, and that is where I stand on boundaries. A red line between two people is healthy. It is an agreement, not a wall. A rulebook the whole world has to obey is not, and the old Buddhist texts do not even have a word for it. What they have is sila, your own conduct. Rules for you, and nobody else. A boundary that never comes down was never protection. It becomes a prison.

One thing to try: Next time you go to defend something, ask one question. Is this a gate or a thorn? Protecting something tender until it is stronger is fine. Refusing the world is not.

In this episode

  • (0:32) Katherine’s email: a garden, not thorny bushes
  • (1:44) Come, even if you have broken your vow a thousand times
  • (3:35) Carers in my life 24 hours a day
  • (6:16) If you want to learn calm, spend time with your family
  • (7:11) A healthy boundary: not my best today, so I close the gate
  • (8:13) Red lines between two people are different
  • (12:00) The Buddhists had no word for boundaries. They had sila
  • (15:26) Life will not honour your bubble
  • (16:21) A boundary that never comes down becomes a prison
  • (17:44) Where in your life has a wall quietly become a prison?

With gratitude to

Cheryl, Susan, Jane, Ankita, Dan, Cassie, Melanie, Joan and Reishin

Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for listening.

Steven

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

There Is No Steven in Here: What I Learned at the Bottom of a Swimming Pool

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

I was lying on the bottom of a swimming pool with a broken neck. At first I was terrified I was going to die. Then things went warm, and the fear went, because there wasn’t really a Steven there to be frightened.

I was the pool. I was the people next to me. I was the field outside. It took me 20 years to find someone who could tell me what that was.

This episode is about the question underneath every other question. Who am I? Not the dad, the son, the councillor, the bloke in the wheelchair who did the 500 miles. Who is the one behind all of that?

A listener emailed this week. Their child is off to university and they are asking, who am I now? You hold a role for long enough and it becomes you. Then it goes, and you are left holding nothing.

A surgeon could open up my head and dig as deep as he likes. He will not find Steven in there. In deep sleep there is no Steven either. We boot up in the morning like a computer and the roles load in.

So I go looking for who is doing the looking. Who is watching the breath when you meditate. The onion, layer after layer, each one only able to see the one outside it. The Buddha’s answer, anatta, not self. And Jack Kornfield’s smoker who wakes from a stroke and cannot remember he ever smoked.

I am not asking you to wipe out everything you have built in your head. The cities of belief are fine. I just think there is something under them, and once you have seen it the roles become something you can play with rather than something you are trapped in.

My daughter found this terrifying when I told her. I find it the most freeing thing I know.

No adverts, no sponsors, and it stays that way.

What is in this one

  • (00:00) Who is doing the observing, if I’m not the meditator?
  • (02:00) Lily Tomlin always wanted to be somebody, and should have been more specific
  • (03:00) The listener whose child is leaving for university
  • (03:30) Dad on the phone to my daughter, Son to my mum, Councillor to a resident
  • (05:00) The surgeon who could dig through my head and never find Steven
  • (06:00) The ginger haired boy, the joker, the one in the wheelchair
  • (07:00) Why I’m a councillor, and the move to Truro that started it
  • (08:00) Toni Morrison, the onion, and the layer that cannot see five layers out
  • (09:00) Your body knows how to relax, so who did the relaxing?
  • (11:00) Are you aware? The gap at the end of the question
  • (12:30) Anatta, the Buddha’s name for what he could not find
  • (13:00) Jack Kornfield’s smoker who woke up from a stroke
  • (14:00) The tents, the villages and the concrete cities in your head
  • (15:30) The bottom of the swimming pool
  • (16:30) The day I told my daughter and she said stop
  • (17:00) Every moment is a rebirth, and the ego loves it
  • (19:00) Your practice for the rest of the day

Your homework this week

Sit and ask the question, who am I? That’s your practice for the next few hours. Every time you become aware, even slightly, just ask, what role am I playing right now?

And if you catch that little gap of pure awareness and hold it for a few seconds, you’re doing brilliant. You’re doing better than me.

Notable quotes from this episode

“If a surgeon was to open up my head, he could dig as deep as he likes. He’s not gonna find anywhere Steven. It’s not in there.” (05:00)

“I know how to be a human because I am human. I don’t wake up in the morning and go, okay, how do I become human today?” (09:30)

“What are the roles? They’re just memories. They’re just stories you tell yourself. They’re chapters.” (13:00)

“At some point, it wasn’t a fact that I wasn’t frightened. It was because I didn’t really exist. There was like this weird awareness of everything. I was the swimming pool. I was the people next to me. I was the field.” (16:00)

“Every single moment is a rebirth. In the morning, or when you answer the phone, you rebirth that person in that role in that moment.” (17:00)

Links

  • The companion meditation: Becoming the Observer, out in about a week
  • Both courses, donate what you like or have them free: stevenwebb.uk
  • Everything else, including the Weekly Calm newsletter: stevenwebb.uk
  • Now on YouTube: search Stillness in the Storms
  • If you want to treat me to a coffee, it is all at stevenwebb.uk

Thank you

Anita, Brandy, HJ, Irma, Jane, Karin, Lorraine, Sergio, Sue and Yuva. This podcast does not exist without you.

If This Were My Last Podcast

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

If this were my last podcast, what would I want to leave you with?

I sat down with a cup of coffee, almost no script, and one line from Rainer Maria Rilke that stopped me in my tracks.

The first thing is to accept this moment wholeheartedly. It is already here. We cannot change the weather that has arrived, the thought that has appeared or the cushion underneath us. We can only choose what we do next.

That does not mean becoming stuck. We can get comfortable with the present moment and still keep our shoes nearby. Some pain asks us to rest. Some pain asks us to move. Both can be true, sometimes within the same hour.

In this episode, I explore why difficult memories stay with us, what happens when we exile the emotions we do not like, and why listening to an inner voice is not the same as letting it lead. Rilke’s poem Go to the Limits of Your Longing becomes a companion for making room for beauty and terror, while remembering that no feeling gets the run of the whole house.

I finish with a small practice. Ask what needs accepting right now, what you may be refusing to hear, and what small colour you can let back into your life.

Stillness in the Storms is independent and advert free. To contact me, join the Weekly Calm or support my work, visit https://stevenwebb.uk

What is in this episode

  • (00:00) The Rilke line that stopped me in my tracks
  • (00:45) If this were my last podcast, what would I leave you with?
  • (01:15) Welcome and thanks to the people keeping the podcasts advert free
  • (02:15) Accepting the moment that has already arrived
  • (03:20) Why we cannot simply replace every difficult thought
  • (04:10) Getting comfortable on the cushion, but not too comfortable
  • (05:10) When suffering pulls us inward and when it pushes us forward
  • (06:10) Why the difficult memories stay with us
  • (07:20) Samsara and the whole spectrum of being alive
  • (08:15) Grab a pillow, but keep your shoes nearby
  • (08:45) Listening to every inner voice without giving each one equal weight
  • (10:20) Rainer Maria Rilke and Go to the Limits of Your Longing
  • (11:15) The Rilke words that inspired this episode
  • (11:35) No feeling gets the run of the whole house
  • (12:20) Why live with only half the rainbow?
  • (14:20) How we narrow life to the colours and feelings we already know
  • (15:35) Love, grief and the two ends of the same stick
  • (16:40) The advice I would leave behind
  • (17:50) A small practice for acceptance and a wider life

The chapter times are taken from the final transcript and should be checked against the finished audio before publishing.

One practice for this week

Pause and ask:

What needs accepting right now?

Is there a feeling or a voice I am refusing to hear?

What small colour can I let into my life?

You do not have to obey every voice or enjoy every feeling. Just let it be heard. Then decide what deserves the steering wheel.

Notable quotes from the recording

“Learn to get comfortable on the cushion you’re on, but not too comfortable.” (04:10)

“Grab a pillow, get a little comfortable, but keep your shoes nearby.” (08:15)

“If we exile half the emotions that we don’t like, we lose half the information.” (10:05)

“No feeling needs to be banished. No feeling needs to get the run of the whole house either.” (11:35)

“Remember all voices are valid, but they’ve not all got the same weight.” (17:40)

“What needs accepting right now?” (17:50)

Links

  • Contact Steven, join the Weekly Calm or support the podcasts: https://stevenwebb.uk
  • Rainer Maria Rilke’s Go to the Limits of Your Longing, translated by Joanna Macy and Anita Barrows: https://onbeing.org/poetry/go-to-the-limits-of-your-longing/

Poem credit

In this episode I quote from and reflect on Go to the Limits of Your Longing by Rainer Maria Rilke, from Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God. The English translation is by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy and was published by Riverhead Books.

Copyright in the English translation remains with the copyright holders. The short quotation is fully credited and discussed in the context of commentary and reflection.

You can read the credited translation and hear Joanna Macy’s own reading at https://onbeing.org/poetry/go-to-the-limits-of-your-longing/

Thank you

Sangha, Jesse, Anita, Sue, Evelyn and Glenn. Your support helps keep Stillness in the Storms and Inner Peace Meditations free from adverts.

Happily Never After

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

What if the thing we keep chasing is the reason we cannot rest?

When I was six or seven, I was certain life would be sorted once I could ride my bike. I learnt, felt brilliant for a little while, and then Monday arrived. The finish line had moved again.

We do this with money, health, work, relationships, meditation and even inner peace. We tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when…” Yet when the thing arrives, it slowly becomes normal and another carrot appears ahead of us.

In this episode, I explore why wanting more is not the enemy, why happiness comes and goes, and why contentment may be a kinder aim. I share the image of the carrot that moves with the cart, the importance of pausing halfway up the mountain, and a simple practice for catching the moment we try to skip the life we are already living.

This is not about giving up our goals or pretending money, health and security do not matter. It is about taking the next step without making it responsible for finally allowing us to be here.

Stillness in the Storms is independent and advert free. To contact me, join the Weekly Calm or support my work, visit https://stevenwebb.uk

What is in this episode

  • (00:00) What if chasing happiness is stopping us from resting?
  • (00:55) Learning to ride a bike and discovering the feeling did not last
  • (02:00) The fairytale promise of happily ever after
  • (03:15) Thanking the people who keep the podcasts advert free
  • (03:50) The carrot that keeps moving with the cart
  • (05:10) Noticing the happiness that is already here
  • (06:10) Why wanting more can still be useful
  • (08:40) Pausing halfway up the mountain and looking back
  • (09:50) New headphones and how quickly better becomes normal
  • (10:25) How gain and loss change the way the same life feels
  • (12:30) Happiness, joy and sadness as experiences that come and go
  • (14:20) Asking what is enough for this day
  • (15:30) Finding life in its ordinary moments
  • (16:40) The “I’ll be happy when” practice
  • (17:50) Taking the next step without skipping this one

One practice for this week

When you hear yourself say, “I’ll be happy when,” or, “It will be okay when,” pause.

Notice what you are asking the next moment to give you. Then take one breath and let this moment be what it is. You can still take the next step. You just do not have to skip your life to get there.

Notable quotes from the recording

“What if the one thing you keep chasing is the reason you cannot be happy? Is the reason you cannot rest?” (00:00)

“If you’re not happy until you get that, you will never be happy.” (08:40)

“What is enough for this day? What is enough right now for you?” (14:20)

“When you stop chasing, you realize the carrot will return and it was there all along.” (16:20)

“The chase stops being a prison when you stop. Take the next step if it’s yours to take.” (17:50)

Thank you

Tim, Patricia, Jess and Cheryl. Your support helps keep Stillness in the Storms and Inner Peace Meditations free from adverts.

Morning Meditation for Health Anxiety and Befriending the Worried Part

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Some mornings, worry arrives before our feet touch the floor. In this gentle meditation, Steven Webb helps us meet that anxious voice with kindness, settle into the body, and begin the day with a little more space around what feels uncertain.

This is not about forcing worry away or pretending everything is fine. It is a chance to listen to the part of us that is trying to keep us safe, offer it company, and take the next small step with gentle courage.

Who this meditation is for

  • Anyone waking with a knot of worry about the day ahead
  • Anyone feeling tense, tired or already on alert in the morning
  • Anyone facing uncertainty without a clear answer yet
  • Anyone who needs a kinder way to meet anxious thoughts

What this practice may help with

  • Feeling less alone with morning worry
  • Creating a little space around anxious thoughts
  • Noticing where worry is held in the body
  • Meeting uncertainty with greater kindness and courage

If you’d like to contact Steven or support his work, go to https://stevenwebb.uk