Life is easier when you’ve lost everything

I got an email the other day from a gentleman in his early 40s. He’d been working for the same firm fitting double glazing since leaving college at 18. While at college he studied an introductory course in architecture, which was something he really enjoyed. During his 20s he took several part-time courses which included business studies, business growth and development and bookkeeping.

Here’s part of his first email to me:

“I don’t think I’m miserable but I know I’m missing something. I have a good job to go to every day, I get to spend time with my family and we can afford the things we need. I guess I’m living well but something is missing. I have no idea what it is.”

Over the past few days we have exchanged a number of emails and spoken on Skype. It was quite clear he had a pretty good life. He didn’t want for anything, he had a reasonable job earning fairly good money. Family life was good, they had their yearly holidays together and so on. So what was missing?

He would casually mention the courses he’d taken and the architecture qualification he got at college. I started receiving numerous emails with picture attachments of buildings and suchlike. These were the things that made him come alive. Whenever I asked him to talk about the buildings or the business studies course his face would light up and it was pretty hard to stop him talking. He started window fitting thinking it would someday lead into building and architecture, but he did what many people do and get stuck into that rut, otherwise known as conformity. He was comfortable, so he did what was expected of him. The money was good, the bills were paid, family life was great and there was nothing health-wise to worry about.

Of course, you and I can see what was wrong. He was in the wrong job. He wanted his own business to do with architecture, or at very least something more involved than fitting windows.

Here’s the problem.

When things are going okay, making any change becomes a massive gamble. You have more to fear because you have more to lose. We hear all the time about people who lose everything, declare bankruptcy, lose the house or their partner… but then we also hear about how they bounce back stronger and better than they ever were before.

Don’t get me wrong, it is not easy to come back after a serious blow, but there is a massive gift given to you when you are knocked on your butt. The gift is that choice is taken away, and fear of loss becomes irrelevant. You have no choice but to fight back and take chances, and the inevitable happens: you gain character and learn along the way until you get to the stage where you are better than you were before.

I’m serious when I say “there is a gift in everything, you just have to find it.

As far as my window fitter friend who wants more out of life, he faces that difficult choice – to take a chance, take the leap of faith, and gamble everything he has… or to stay how he is. Is it any wonder so many people go to work every day hoping for a lottery win, big promotion or for fate to roll the dice in their favour?

portrait photo of Steven Webb in a checked shirt and yellow top

About Steven Webb
Steven Webb is a Zen Buddhist meditation teacher, former Mayor of Truro, and host of the Stillness in the Storms and Inner Peace Meditations podcasts. Paralysed at 18 and reborn through a “dark night of the soul” at 40, he now guides millions worldwide (including one of Insight Timer’s most popular sleep practices) to find peace without perfection. By day, he’s a Truro City Councillor and Lib Dem candidate, advocating for dignity-first policies and community energy projects. Oh, and he once towed a replica helicopter 500 miles in his wheelchair to fundraise for Cornwall Air Ambulance.

“The breath knows how to breathe. Our job? Just allow it.”

A man sat enjoying some peace and quiet

Join Weekly Calm Newsletter

Your Anchor in Life’s Storms

Weekly Calm is your personal guide to tranquillity, delivering practical mindfulness insights and inspiring wisdom directly to your inbox every week.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

A man sat enjoying some peace and quiet

Weekly Calm Insights

Weekly Calm is my weekly newsletter with links to my latest podcast episode, guided meditations and a little bit about me. Working on the weekly part, mostly couple times a month.