8 Billion Minds. Why Meditation Doesn't Work for Everyone (And What You Can Do About It)

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Steven: So 8 billion minds.

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Why meditation doesn't work for
everyone and what you can do

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about it on today's podcast.

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Hello, I'm Steven Webb and welcome
to Stillness in the Storms, the

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podcast that helps you to find
peace even in difficult times.

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No fluff, no quick fixes.

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Just honest and down to earth wisdom
from someone who lives it every day,

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so last week we went back to basics.

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This week, I want to say something about
what sits right next to that because we

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are all different, I've grown up for so
many years trying to change the world into

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who I am without even realizing it that I
had the answers, I had the common sense,

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meanwhile, I didn't, I knew I
didn't have all the peace and quiet.

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I knew I did not have everything sorted.

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But meanwhile.

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I was trying to convince 8 billion people
to think and be like me and to fit into my

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box because as soon as everybody fit into
my box, I would then feel comfortable and

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life would be a damn side better for me.

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And I laugh about it now,
and it's, do you know what?

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It's easier to accept yourself than
it is to change 8 billion people.

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Trust me, I've tried.

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It's hard work and I don't think
I managed it with even one person.

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So there you go.

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If you're still trying to
change the world, good luck.

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It's a long, hard slog.

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So why does meditation work
beautifully for some people and

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it doesn't work for other people?

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And

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why does one teacher work for one person?

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Another teacher work for another,
and someone will give you a

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link or give you a self out book
and they'll go, it's brilliant.

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It's done everything.

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It's changed my whole life.

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And then you read it and you go, mm,
yeah, no, didn't get much from it.

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And I always say the more self-help
books you read, you're better off

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just putting a pile of them sitting on
them and work out how your mind works.

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Because if you do that for five
minutes a day, that'll be better

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than 10,000 self-help books.

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And there's a reason for that because
every self-help book is wrote.

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And every teaching memoir is wrote from
the altitude that author is at that time.

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And they could be amazing
psychologists, psychiatrists,

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they could be the best doctors.

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They could well be way higher
than you, way lower the altitude.

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But what is true for all of them
is that you can only write a

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book from the altitude you're at.

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You might be able to communicate
with those below you.

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But you can only hazard a
guess at those above you, and

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that's just the reality of it.

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The same as this podcast, same as
me talking to you, I can only give

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you my reflection from where I am.

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I'm so far up the mountain.

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My viewpoint is what I can see?

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If someone up the top of the
mountain says, Steven, look over

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there, look in the distance.

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There's a nice something,
there's a different mountain.

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No matter how much I try, I'm
not going to see that mountain.

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I could visualize it.

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I might be able have some kind of
vague idea, but I'm not gonna see it.

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And the same as if you go down
lower, you're gonna see even less.

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So I think this is really important.

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Going slightly off topic now
from the meditation side.

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So what got me into meditation?

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I've told the story a couple of times,
but I think it's really important

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because I think you'll relate to it.

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So I, despite everything that gone
through in my life, my broken neck and.

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Being cheated on going bankrupt.

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I lost my friend in my thirties.

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I don't tell all them because I don't
think my life is much different than most

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people's, but none of that made me hit
rock bottom, even becoming paralyzed.

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What made me hit rock bottom was one day
in town and my chair broke, and my chair

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broke more times than I could imagine.

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It broke down today twice and.

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But we did sort it and I've got to go
hold of, Cornwall Mobility tomorrow

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'cause my chair's broke again.

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Anyway, off topic again.

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So I hit rock bottom at
40 and I was in town.

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The chair broken down.

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I had no money.

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My credit cards were to the top.

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I was bankrupt at the time and
I had been bankrupt a number of

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years before, so I couldn't borrow.

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I couldn't do anything.

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And my chair is my lifeline to get out.

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I managed to get hold of a friend and they
come down and they pushed me out to the

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van, pushed me into it, and come home.

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Luckily, that friend was a bit of an
engineer and he could help a little bit,

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and I remember sat in the busy doorway.

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I literally balled my eyes out.

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Saturday afternoon, I was in boots.

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It's a, like a wellbeing store, a
really big superstore in the uk.

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And there was a security guard stood
on his little higher platform near the

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door and he walked over and he grabbed
on my shoulder and he didn't say a word.

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I don't think he knew what to say.

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There was this 40-year-old in a
wheelchair just ball out crying.

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Crying like a 2-year-old, like as
if the world had absolutely ended.

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And I managed to compose myself
after what seemed like hours,

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probably only two minutes.

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But that security guard meant the world.

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He just squeezed my shoulder
and it was like, I know there,

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I've got you.

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And that I even tear up now thinking
about it, but that meant a lot to me.

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I got home and I didn't think for
two weeks, almost day and night.

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I was just stuck observing life.

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Didn't feel anything, want, angry want.

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I just did not have any emotion
for like two weeks and I

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wasn't even working stuff out.

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I was just literally observing like
one long awesome, deep meditation.

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And then when the thoughts and I
started creeping back in, they were

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so painful, so horrible that I started
reading self out books or I started

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doing all these different things.

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Just to get some sleep.

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In actual fact, just before that,
I started drinking and asking the

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carers for a drink every night I ended
up drinking three or four Southern

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comforts every night just to go sleep.

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Two hours later, I was awake
in the middle of the night.

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I wasn't gonna call a carer
down to get another drink.

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After a while, I just started
reading As a Man Thinketh to

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go to sleep and been dyslexic.

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I'd never read anything since school
and reading it word by word, reread in

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paragraphs again and again and again.

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Eventually I had fall asleep and
I'd done that for several weeks,

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and in that book it's about 120
year old book by James Allen.

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And he just basically said,
you are not your thoughts.

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So I started looking into meditation a
bit more rather than when I tried it in my

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twenties to try to do something popular.

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When every single book tells you that,
the answer is in meditation, when

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one book tells you, you go, yeah.

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Maybe when two books
tell you, you go, Hmm.

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But when 20 or 30, when every single
book turns the page and says, if you want

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inner peace, if you want a quiet life, you
want to reduce your suffering, meditate,

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at some point, you cannot ignore it.

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It's like if you're sat in a room with no
windows and doors and nine people walk in

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independently and say, raining, and one
person walks in and goes, ah, it's sunny.

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Why you are stupid if
you don't grab a coat?

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That's the reality.

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If enough people are
telling you it's meditation,

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but I've got, well, I now know I've
got a DHD or a DD, according to

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another book I read and with me, my
mind's just utterly chaos and a mess

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and it's thinking everything, it's
doing more and more things by the day.

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And it comes up with ideas day and
night, and they're just random and

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they're ridiculous and they're,
if you ever go walking with me

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anywhere, I literally do not stop.

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I will be talking about the butterfly
on the leaf to a big challenge to

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Trump, to everything, to, to how
my, why my toe works the way it

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does to my eyes, and how they see.

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To the universe and how Pluto is not
our planet, right back to the butterfly

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sitting on the leaf and the birds hearing.

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And I've, I've learn to just allow
it to be what it is and my mind.

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But when I sat down and meditate, it's
like silence it and I just couldn't.

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It's like telling kids in the
backseat of a car to stop laughing.

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Not gonna work.

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It's like they have a group of kids in
school to sit down and stop fidgeting.

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Worst thing you can do, you
know, tell 'em I fidget for five

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minutes and then they get bored.

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And so meditation, I thought was
off the cards, but I sat down and

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I, I found my ways of meditating
and sometimes I need guided me.

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Sometimes I need to just stare at a leaf.

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Sometimes I need to really think of
something like even go on a story

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deliberately to visualize something.

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Other times I can have a lot those
moments between my words and you.

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You all recognize those moments
of just peace, like if you listen

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to every single word I say now.

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From this one

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to this one.

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In between waiting for that word, you
had a moment of just waiting awareness.

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And the problem is with all
of this is we do see the world

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through the image of who we are.

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So we think we, look at productive
people and go, how are you productive?

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We look at people that meditate
and go, how can you meditate?

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We don't know what's going
through their mind while they're

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sitting there meditating.

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Most of 'em are faking it.

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I bet most of 'em are just
sitting there thinking, I wonder

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if they've got their eyes open.

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I wonder what they're thinking about.

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I wonder if they're thinking about tears.

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Same as me.

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I wonder if they got a bad back.

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I wonder if they, I'm sure I
seen them move a minute ago.

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And even when you go on retreat and you
see 10 people, if you look around long

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enough of when you're supposed to be
meditating, you'll see people just open

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their eyes slightly and things like that.

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And I even think the teacher
is sitting there thinking.

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All different things, but the point is,
is to bring it back, bringing it back,

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bringing it back, like I spoke about
last week, so I'm not gonna go repeating.

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If you didn't listen to last week's
and you struggle with meditation

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anyway, I really suggest you listen
to last week's podcast, but it's

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8 billion people, 8 billion minds.

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They're all on a spectrum of
one side to the other, whether

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it's autism focus or anything.

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On one end of the spectrum, you've
got somebody that was born with,

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mental illnesses and all that where
the chemicals just don't fire, right?

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And they would find it very
difficult to live in the world,

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and they may not get beyond the age
of one or two years old mentally.

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On the other end of the spectrum,
you've got someone that we deem as

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incredibly amazing with an IQ of 200
that can focus, that can read a booking.

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Like ours that can remember
the most amazing things.

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They may not be emotionally as
intelligent, but we deem them as

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brilliantly productive, amazing
people, and we put them on a pedestal.

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And everywhere between those
two things is everybody else.

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There's the people that
can focus at times.

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There's people that could never focus.

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There's people that can get in
the flow and get things achieved.

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But only in the right circumstances.

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And the thing is, with the 8 billion
people, there's 8 billion roads and

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each one of us is on our own road.

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Then you can go from one side
of the road to the other.

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You can go towards, you can be
pulled towards other people's

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roads, but you ultimately cannot
change the road you're on.

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Your mind is wired the way it's wired.

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You can rewire parts of it.

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You can.

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Train it to become more focused.

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You can train it to become
more spontaneous and more

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bewildered and curious.

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You can train a closed mindset to be
more open, but you'll never be able

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to move from one end to the other.

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You just cannot do it.

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It just doesn't work that way and.

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I've spoke about when I think in
about the 1950s or sixties they had

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every 10 years they have a group of
people they put together and they

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follow them every 10 years of their
life and they ask them questions.

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They do things well.

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In the fifties or sixties, they had
a group of people they scan the minds

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of the first time, scan the sides of
their brains, and when they got to

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the nineties, they scanned them again.

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This other group.

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And the ones that played the piano
and played music when they were really

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young, they noticed they had an extra
part of the brain somewhere near the

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bottom, and this brain was linking the
ears and the hands and the coordination.

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And the people that didn't play music
didn't have these by the brain, so

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they thought, oh, it's a born talent.

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But then they scanned them
again, this same group of people.

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And because it is comparing and these
group of people that are all kinds all

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over the world from different things,
there's hundreds of them and then they

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scan them again at 20 and 30 years old.

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Now the ones that did not have that
part of the brain, but they had it at 30

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because they started playing music at 20.

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So they learn for the first time
a thing called neuroplasticity.

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Your brain will change.

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If you meditate more,
you'll add more focus.

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If you read more, you'll
become better at reading.

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When you left school, you could
add 37 and 39 up quite easily.

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You asked me to do that.

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Now it takes me about 20 minutes and
I haven't got enough fingers to do

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it, but if you ask me to do maths on
a daily basis, after a few months,

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I'll be able to do that quite easily.

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So we can vary.

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We can move from side of the roads
to the other, but you cannot get off

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your road and get in some, someone
that really finds life difficult.

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'cause life was set up for the, the
middle of the focus side, if you say

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on the right or the focus people on
the left or the scattered people.

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Society liked the people on the right
because they could be controlled,

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they could be put into factories,
they could build things, they

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could be okay with working for 50
minutes, not working for 10 minutes.

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The bells worked with them and they
were deemed as the brilliant ones.

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Everybody else they're the problems and
they're the ones that cause trouble.

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The irony is now if you, are
the one that causes trouble and

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changes the world, you're a hero.

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It your crazy idea hits a home run.

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Then you are genius.

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If your crazy idea goes
nowhere, you are a lunatic.

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The world's mental,, the world
is just so messed up, but it's

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not, it's brilliantly human.

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And that's the point.

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And this is where you fit in.

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You don't fit into the world.

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The world is terrible adapting
to who you are and where you are.

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Do you stay where you are?

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No.

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You change and mold.

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It's not like star signs.

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You're born a Sagittarius.

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And then from then on, luck
is gonna be behind a red door.

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I do believe in the Enneagrams, the
nine types, because you move in and

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out of them and they depend on how
you think in life, not where the

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planets were when you were born.

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I don't believe in Mercury retrograde,
I don't believe in all of these things

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that planets are having an effect on
you, that the moon has an effect on

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you because it's pulling the water
in your brain, one side or the other.

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Turn around.

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00:17:18,929 --> 00:17:20,010
It pulls it the other way.

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But on the other hand, why does
crime go up on a full moon?

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I'm just ranting now, but
I'm gonna have my rant.

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Why does crime go up on a full moon?

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Because burglars like to
see what they're doing.

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Simple as that.

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If you turn the lights out in
villages, they don't get burgled.

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When the street lights are on
late at night, they get per good.

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It's that simple.

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Do you know what else reduces
crime in the winter or the summer?

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Rain.

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Yeah.

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There's a direct correlation to how
much crime there is and how much

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rain there is and how cold it is.

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Yeah.

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And that has nothing
to do with the planets.

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So I'm gonna wrap this up.

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We've done 20 minutes now, and
I, I think you get my point.

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We sometimes put labels on things
just to help us fit in and I

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was really pleased when I was, I
was labeled dyslexic at school.

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ADHD or anything like that didn't come
into play, but it has done now and it's

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00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:27,460
made me see my life so much clearer
because I tried to be that focused

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00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:33,490
person that fits in because that's
what society told me a good person is.

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And now I realize there is no good
or bad people in that respect.

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It's just that's the way
we work within our road.

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Then you can, going back to that
metaphor, you can widen your road.

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You can have influence, you can
temporarily use other people's

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roads, but you cannot change
fundamentally who you are.

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So when it comes down to meditation, if
guided meditation helps you let it be.

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If meditation just one
minute at a time, let it be.

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Do that.

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If meditation on 40 minutes,
sit on the cushion, do that.

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All I will say is whatever you
do, keep pushing the boundaries.

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Don't settle for one minute.

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00:19:22,915 --> 00:19:27,385
If you can manage to do one minute
work up to two, work up to three, five

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00:19:27,685 --> 00:19:33,865
'cause you will have bigger rewards,
you will widen your road and eventually

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that road will move into other roads.

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So you can widen your road.

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You really can.

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You can become a good meditator,
a dyslexic person, in my respect.

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If you are similar to my dyslexia, the
remembering what you read, I read a

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00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,570
page and I can't remember the character.

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00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:57,640
I get better at doing it partly by reading
something that I'm actually interested in.

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Not, council work.

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00:20:01,565 --> 00:20:02,615
Don't tell councilors that.

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00:20:03,215 --> 00:20:03,725
Don't tell any.

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00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:08,255
My friends on the council that agendas
are bloody boring, I'll tell you that.

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00:20:08,705 --> 00:20:09,725
But they're important.

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00:20:09,725 --> 00:20:13,895
They're needed to be, and I'm glad,
like on the audit committee, we have

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00:20:13,895 --> 00:20:19,085
people that are accountants and things
like that because my god, if they're

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00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,815
relying on me to scrutinize it, no.

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00:20:23,165 --> 00:20:25,055
But I'm there to get a
bench where it's needed.

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00:20:25,085 --> 00:20:26,375
I'm there to fix a fence.

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00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:28,415
I'm there to make a
difference in people's lives.

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00:20:28,925 --> 00:20:29,225
Right?

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00:20:29,225 --> 00:20:32,585
I want to get back to something
really important and I want to thank

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00:20:32,585 --> 00:20:35,045
those that brought this podcast free.

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00:20:35,475 --> 00:20:36,315
These are the people.

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00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:39,615
And I don't make any apologies
for spending time on this

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00:20:39,645 --> 00:20:40,635
'cause it's really important.

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00:20:41,175 --> 00:20:42,555
So thank you, Suzanne.

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00:20:42,555 --> 00:20:50,955
Maria, Michael, Tiffany, Ellen, Kathleen,
Adele, Nicola, Jess, Lynette, Linda, Laura

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00:20:51,015 --> 00:20:54,455
Yavuz and a few kind anonymous souls.

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00:20:54,575 --> 00:20:59,645
Thank you so much, and a special call
out to Jane one year as a monthly

345
00:20:59,645 --> 00:21:01,445
supporter as of 15th of April.

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00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:06,215
You guys are awesome and I've got
people that have been subscribing

347
00:21:06,215 --> 00:21:09,635
for two or three years, but when your
anniversary comes up, I will call you out.

348
00:21:11,045 --> 00:21:12,665
You guys keep these.

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00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:16,220
Inner peace meditations and
this stillness in the storm

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00:21:16,220 --> 00:21:17,720
is completely free of adverts.

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00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,639
It's the only way I can do it.

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00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:21,020
It's the only way I can earn some money.

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00:21:21,020 --> 00:21:22,430
So thank you so much.

354
00:21:22,430 --> 00:21:23,450
You are awesome.

355
00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:31,760
And if you can donate or you can help
leave a review, hit a star follow.

356
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:32,700
StevenWebb.uk.

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00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:38,650
The link is in the show notes and I've got
a couple of courses and you can, with the

358
00:21:38,650 --> 00:21:44,860
courses, you can pay what you like from
zero to, well, whatever you wanna pay.

359
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,790
I think the highest is a hundred
dollars, but you can pay what you

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00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:50,230
like because that's what I believe.

361
00:21:50,230 --> 00:21:53,680
I believe none of my teaching
is mine, and I'm lucky.

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00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:55,560
So thank you guys.

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00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,030
Deeply grateful to you.

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00:21:57,870 --> 00:22:01,230
I'm gonna sign off now, and I just
want you to leave you with one thing.

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00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:02,790
We're all different.

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00:22:02,850 --> 00:22:04,200
We're all on our roads.

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00:22:04,770 --> 00:22:09,120
The more you practice, the more you
do, the more you can widen your road.

368
00:22:10,605 --> 00:22:12,435
The world was not designed for you.

369
00:22:13,305 --> 00:22:17,035
It wasn't designed for
me, or 8 billion others.

370
00:22:17,755 --> 00:22:18,595
It's that simple.

371
00:22:20,065 --> 00:22:23,785
Don't feel that you need to fit in, do
the meditation the way it does for you.

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00:22:24,175 --> 00:22:29,305
Just keep pushing, pushing yourself,
and ultimately accept yourself.

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00:22:29,455 --> 00:22:31,660
Take care and I love you.