“I wish I could say I didn’t owe anything to anyone, but the truth is I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for the courage and support of each and every one of you.”

Now, that’s not some wisened guru speaking. It’s Jack O’Neill from Stargate, and yes, I’m a sucker for the show. You see, sometimes wisdom emerges where you least expect it.

Who do you owe?

No, I’m not talking about the mate you owe a tenner or that bottle of wine you promised for fixing your window. I’m drilling down into the bedrock of your very being. Your values, your quirks, your strengths and weaknesses—don’t you reckon they’re all borrowed, gifted, or perhaps even inflicted by someone else?

Let’s face it, you didn’t emerge from the womb with a blueprint for leadership or resilience. No. You were shaped by your parents, your mates, your teachers, and even those tossers who made your life hell.

Yeah, you heard me right. How often do we credit our villains? Those individuals who scarred us, neglected us, or shoved us into the ‘underdog’ category? Could it be that these folks, knowingly or not, sculpted our tenacity, our resolve?

Think about it. An absent parent might’ve ignited your commitment to be the best damn parent you can be. A bully might’ve pushed you to find the courage you didn’t know you had. These characters aren’t just antagonists; they’re pivotal players in your narrative. So, like it or not, they’ve contributed to your true leadership qualities.

Fate? Destiny? Bollocks to that. I don’t buy it. You make your choices, and so does everyone else. Still, even if you don’t believe in a grand plan, it’s hard to deny that life has a funny way of sorting itself out. A cruel twist today might be the catalyst for a monumental triumph tomorrow.

So, how about this? Take five minutes. Just five. List the people you’ve condemned, hated, blamed. For each name, flip the script. Ask yourself: “How have they contributed to who I am today?” It might be a bitter pill, but chances are it’s one worth swallowing.

You see, we’re all a part of a larger narrative—a bigger picture, if you will. Every experience, every person, plays a role in shaping us into the leaders, caregivers, and humans we become. And acknowledging that? Well, that’s true leadership.

If my mates hadn’t invited me to that fateful swim in September ’91, where I became paralysed, would I be here, sharing this with you? Unlikely.

I’m keen to hear your thoughts. How has your ‘villain’ contributed to your story? Feel free to drop a comment below.