When I was going through a really tough time, my rock bottom around two years ago I had so much going on inside my head there was barely any room to think let alone get through a normal day. If it wasn’t somebody wanting a piece of me it would be something I was procrastinating about. It was a continuous cycle and I was fed up, needed a break, enough is enough.

What was my problem! I had a house, income, food and a pretty good life. So, why do I feel down or depressed.

But, I was so down and fed up that I would do anything to avoid my thoughts and to get people to leave me the ‘hell alone’ for just a little bit. I’m sure you know the feeling, everything becomes too much and drawing the curtains, switching off the phone and locking the door sounds perfect. Just a few days of not having to explain myself to anyone, needing that little bit of time to myself and that piece of mind without idiots lecturing me.

Avoidance is normal it doesn’t matter what technique you use alcohol, drugs, music, food or hiding away; you just need that break, a little piece of serenity to recharge. None of these last long, if they do they will almost certainly increase your problems.

I had to find a more permanent solution because things were just getting worse. I had to find something to do that wasn’t harmful that would enable me to avoid the problems and teach me how to deal with them. So I started reading, no mean feat for someone that hadn’t read for over 20 years because I was labelled dyslexic at school. Paradigms, who needs them!

After reading a few books it became clear that it was my thoughts that were causing the problem. James Allen sums it up nicely ‘you are what you think’.

So, you feel down because of the way you think, the way you see situations and your perception and assumptions of the way things should be. If enough people tell you you’re a useless parent eventually you’ll believe it, not only that you’ll start to justify it by becoming aware of everything that might point in that direction. You might burn the dinner, immediately you feel useless; the chances are you just had too much going on and made a simple mistake.

Every time you tell yourself you’re fat, ugly, fed up, useless, lonely or worthless you believe it that little more until eventually that defines who you are. Your thoughts become your reality no matter what anybody else says. We believe these thoughts without challenging them. Why would we challenge something we tell ourselves? Most people will argue an opinion as if it is fact simply because they have never challenged their own belief.

It is time to start challenging what you tell yourself. Remember the good advice you had when you were young ‘question everything’. Well, it is time you started questioning yourself, stop accepting everything you think.

Even if your best friend spoke to you in the way you speak to yourself you are likely to fall out or worse punch them. Think about it.

You are exactly who you choose to be and if you continue to believe every opinion and every comment made in anger or frustration towards you over the years you will never feel better about your current life.

You can change your whole world by changing how you think and how much notice you take of your own lies.

Article exercise:

For the next few days take notice of how often you are negative with yourself. You may be surprised, imagine a child been told the same things. Is it any wonder you feel down?