How to Suffer Less Embracing Change on the Spiritual Journey

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Steven Webb: Welcome to episode 94.

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I can't believe 94 episodes.

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It only feels like I've done 20.

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Anyway.

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Welcome to episode 94 of
Stillness in the Storms.

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I'm Steven Weour host, and
it's the podcast that helps

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you to find the little inner
piece when you need it most.

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And on today's episode, we're
talking about how to suffer less.

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Embracing change, especially
on the spiritual journey.

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And I think the spiritual journey
sometimes gets a bad rep, and

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I think it's misunderstood.

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So I'm going to explain it from
what the spiritual journey meant

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to me, what it means to me when
I say we're gonna suffer less,

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but we might feel more pain.

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And we'll just look at about building
resilience and, and we'll also go.

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And talk a little bit about
spiritual bypassing, what that

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is and why it's not a good idea.

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So just before that, I want to
give you a little bit of news.

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100 episode is coming up and
I've got something quite nicely

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planned for that episode.

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But I wanna say thank you to everyone
that gives me a virtual hug, which is

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effectively treating me to a coffee,
donating and helping with the podcast.

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Thank you guys.

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It's really deeply appreciated.

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Now then this week I did
something a little bit different.

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There was a homeless guy that I've
known for quite a while, and he's

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finding it difficult to see his screen
on his little phone, so, With your

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money I bought him a tablet, which is
going to be delivered in the morning,

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and I'm gonna take it down to him.

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So that's what I've done
with your money this week.

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So I haven't been on social media.

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I'm not gonna take a picture.

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I'm not interested in
any of those things.

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I just simply wanted to say
to you, that's what I've done

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with your money this week.

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So thank you, you know.

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It really does make a difference
when you donate to this podcast.

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Not only does it help me, not only
does it help me, I'm trying to save

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up for my camera thing, but it also,
I, I want to reduce suffering, and if

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I can reduce suffering in some way,
helping the guy see as I player or

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watch bbc, things like that, instead
of just squinting on his phone.

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Know, that's reducing suffering.

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You can reduce suffering
in all kinds of ways.

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It doesn't have to be deep
and powerful and meaningful.

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It can be a little way,
you know, any other way.

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But let's get on with today's
show, let's talk about how to

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suffer less embracing change
on the spiritual journey.

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Now then, first of all, I'm
gonna share a bit of my story.

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And the reason why I say that we can
suffer less, but we feel more, when I

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started on a spiritual journey, I did
not know it was a spiritual journey.

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I'm not religious.

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I don't believe in a
deity up there, a God.

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I don't really, I don't know
what I really believe in.

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I just, I'm very much
a science-based person.

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Just because I don't know it,
just because I cannot prove it,

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doesn't mean to say it's not real.

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So I'm not gonna argue with you, but I
do like to have some kind of tangible

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reason for believing something
so, And, but if I feel something

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deeply, then I'm not gonna deny it.

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I'm not gonna run away from it.

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So my whole practice really turned
out to be Zen and Buddhism, and that's

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because I just like mindfulness.

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I like to stop and smell the roses.

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So to use a phrase that's
probably well overused, but that

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is really, really important.

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When I'm driving down the hill, I
look at a leaf, I look at the color

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and go, wow, look at the color.

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How did that leaf fall there?

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How did it get that journey?

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How did, and it just reduces
my suffering because in the

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current moment, we are very
likely not to be suffering.

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Right now you are
listening to this podcast.

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You are not really suffering.

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You know, if you are really suffering
and you are burning, or something's

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really going wrong in your life right
now and you are taking time out to

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listen to the podcast, something's not
quite right, but we feel like we're

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suffering all the time, and we want
to get rid of that suffering now.

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Then when I set off on my spiritual
journey, I wanted to get rid of

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pain, and there's a difference
between pain and suffering.

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You know, just to get
rid of all the pain.

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I didn't wanna feel anything anymore.

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I was, I went for a particularly,
I'm gonna say nasty, split up,

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but it wasn't a nasty split up.

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The split up was clean.

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They didn't cheat or anything.

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There wasn't any kind
of bad thing like this.

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It was just unexpected.

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And it did, it hurt
really, really badly.

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And because they didn't prolong
it, they didn't keep coming

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back to me and things like that.

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They basically cut off all ties
and I could not contact them.

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It was really painful and I
didn't wanna think about it.

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I didn't want to think about
what they were up to, what they

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were doing, and that was my pain.

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I, I literally couldn't sleep.

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I started drinking alcohol.

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I just, I was doing
anything to avoid pain.

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To the point that yes, I
did contemplate suicide, I

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contemplated not so much taking
my life, but I contemplated

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reducing my suffering to a point.

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I wanted to get rid of the pain.

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Luckily, something stepped in and
stopped me and gone, you know, maybe

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the pain won't be there tomorrow
or the next day or next year.

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Maybe.

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The wisdom I had for my teenage
years and feeling a lot of heartache

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brain, I kind of knew down the
road that it wasn't permanent.

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But it feels like it's
permanent when we're in it.

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Right?

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Really does feel like it's permanent.

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So I, all I wanted to do was reduce
my pain and I ended up reading a

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book that was on my iPad, which is
really unusual because I don't read.

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I was diagnosed dyslexic when
I was about nine years old by

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wonderful, wonderful teacher, Mrs.

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Hoban.

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And.

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Incidentally, I've met up with
her since when I become mayor.

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She contacted me and said, and when I
got that email through, in the email

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said, I think I used to teach you.

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And I, and I went straight to
the teacher name at the bottom.

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Of course you do.

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Cause you wanna know who it is.

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It's just emailed you.

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And they said, Mrs.

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Hoban.

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I was like, oh my God.

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Yes you did.

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You were the one that made such
a massive difference in my life

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and I just bald my eyes out.

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I couldn't even read the email.

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I'm wondering whether it shed
the story, but basically I

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just got to a new school.

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I was pretty much
bullied in that school.

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I didn't fit in.

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I used to sit at the back, very quiet.

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And the teacher did something new
that wasn't happening in my other

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school, and they would write on
the board and when they got to

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the bottom, they would scrub out
the top and I could never keep up.

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So I was writing it word for word.

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I could never keep up.

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And I was writing not what she
was writing on the board and.

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Having just been away
in London or something.

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She told me this story when
we met up just last year.

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She said having been away in
London or she knew a friend

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from London or something.

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They talked about this dyslexia and
she said, I think you are dyslexic.

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And of course I am.

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I can read.

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So when someone says, read that
out to me, I can read it to you,

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but I dunno what I just read.

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My brain cannot read
it and understand it.

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So I can literally read a page and
it might mention the character and

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they might be going on a canoeing
trip down the river and someone

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said, well, what's the character's
name and what were they doing?

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I'd be like, I don't know.

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It took all my focus just to read it.

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So I'd tell you this story
because I found a book on my

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iPad called As a Man Thinker.

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It was only about, I dunno, 40,
50 pages, but it was all about.

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You're not what you think
and you have control over

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what you do or your thoughts.

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So this book gave me a profound,
deep insight while me having to read

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each paragraph 20, 30 times, which
was brilliant because I fell asleep.

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So not only did I need to hear
this about 20 or 30 times, I

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needed something to fall asleep
better than whiskey or alcohol

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that I was drinking at the time.

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Southern Comfort, it was.

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Ugh, whiskey.

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Who drinks that?

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Okay.

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If you drink whiskey, I'm fine
with you drinking whiskey.

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I just don't like it.

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It's a bit strong for me.

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Southern Comfort and
Coke, that's mine.

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Nice and sweet.

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You know, I don't drink anymore.

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I don't drink anything anyway.

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You know me.

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I keep going off.

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So that was the start
of my spiritual journey.

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I didn't know it was
a spiritual journey.

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All I wanted to do was
reduce my suffering and

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while reducing my suffering.

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It gave rise to my seven year old self
to be able to care more about others,

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to open my heart, to just have more
compassion and empathy for others.

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Suddenly I was starting,
I was starting to feel the

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pain of everything in the
world, you know, a new story.

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It cost the other side of the
world was really debilitating me.

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It's like, how can we live in
a world like this that these

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kind of things are happening?

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And then the spiritual
journey went on to be less

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empathy and more compassion.

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So, Compassion is about what's
happening with them as opposed to us.

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Empathy, very much, and I
speak about this on a few other

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podcasts, if you search through
my podcast, empathy is about us.

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It's like what I'm feeling
for you, it's about me.

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Ironically, we think it's
about them, but it's not.

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It's really about us, what
we are feeling for them.

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So empathy is someone comes
over to you and says, do

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not, I'm really tired today.

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I cannot cope anymore.

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I need, and they look up
and go, yeah, I'm the same.

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So immediately flip it around.

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It's about them.

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What they think they're doing
is giving you like comfort.

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They, they think they're matching
your feelings and all of that, and

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they think they're giving you empathy.

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But they're feeling what you
are feeling, but they're not

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actually having compassion
for what you're feeling.

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It's kind of complicated and I
probably don't explain it very well.

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Let me know if I do in
any of the comments.

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Email me, let me know.

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If I do go to steven webb.com
and there's a contact me if

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this makes sense or do I need to
elaborate on it a little bit more.

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But anyway, going back to the
compassion thing, suddenly I

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add more compassion for people.

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I had a lot of deep empathy,
but I wasn't being pushed

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around by the empathy.

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It wasn't affecting
my life quite so much.

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So if someone said to me, and I'm not
always like this, don't get me wrong.

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If someone come and said, I'm tired,
and I'm tired as well, sometimes

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I'd go, yeah, I'm tired too.

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So I'm not always this saint
with compassion and all that.

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In actual fact, very rarely I am.

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And this is why I'm working on it.

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You know, you may see me as my life
is all sorted, I'm all calm and

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think, no, it's, this work is ongoing.

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It's, you know, it'll never be done.

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You never get there.

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But that's a whole different show.

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So I try to have a little more
compassion with it without

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the empathy pushing me around.

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Doesn't always work, but that's
the genuine spiritual journey,

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is having compassion without
having to make it about ourselves.

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So what does compassion look like?

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And this is where Brene Brown sums it
up brilliantly in one of her books.

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You know, if you have empathy, you
sit back, sit down with them and

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go, yeah, I'm feeling the same.

238
00:11:39,839 --> 00:11:42,689
Compassion is, yeah.

239
00:11:43,259 --> 00:11:44,279
That must be tough.

240
00:11:46,379 --> 00:11:47,339
No, there's the difference.

241
00:11:49,079 --> 00:11:53,394
Just imagine if you came over to me
and said to me, oh, I broke my leg.

242
00:11:53,934 --> 00:11:56,454
And I, and I look at and go,
yeah, I broke my leg once.

243
00:11:57,114 --> 00:11:59,814
It's like, how does that
feel if you come over to me

244
00:11:59,814 --> 00:12:00,774
and said, I broke my leg.

245
00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:01,554
It's really painful.

246
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,134
And I went, yeah, that must be rough.

247
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:05,634
How are you coping?

248
00:12:07,404 --> 00:12:07,884
Boom.

249
00:12:07,884 --> 00:12:09,144
The difference is huge.

250
00:12:09,534 --> 00:12:11,274
One's empathy, one's compassion.

251
00:12:12,429 --> 00:12:15,009
And this is where the genuine
spiritual journey has to drive

252
00:12:15,009 --> 00:12:19,899
us more towards compassion and
understanding for others as opposed

253
00:12:19,904 --> 00:12:23,439
to the first part of the spiritual
journey, which is about ourselves.

254
00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:25,449
And you have to go
through these levels.

255
00:12:25,449 --> 00:12:29,679
You cannot just jump to one, and
you'll fluctuate, you'll do all this.

256
00:12:30,039 --> 00:12:32,709
But my spiritual journey, I
wanted to reduce my suffering,

257
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:37,869
but in reducing my suffering, I
felt things deeper, way deeper.

258
00:12:39,219 --> 00:12:41,409
So I just misunderstood
the spiritual journey.

259
00:12:42,589 --> 00:12:43,669
And that's my explanation.

260
00:12:43,669 --> 00:12:46,969
That's where I am
suffering a whole lot less.

261
00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:51,739
I do suffer sometimes, but I
suffer a less, do I feel pain?

262
00:12:51,889 --> 00:12:52,279
Yeah.

263
00:12:52,279 --> 00:12:57,409
I feel huge amount of pain when I hear
about terrible things that are going

264
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,629
on that boat that sunk with what?

265
00:12:59,629 --> 00:13:00,559
300 people?

266
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:01,909
How horrible.

267
00:13:02,689 --> 00:13:03,379
Imagine that.

268
00:13:03,769 --> 00:13:05,209
Imagine being one of them.

269
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:09,799
You're setting off on the
most, one of these exciting

270
00:13:09,799 --> 00:13:11,029
but treacherous journeys.

271
00:13:11,659 --> 00:13:13,609
And then suddenly you're
seeing everybody around you

272
00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:14,989
dying and you go in the water.

273
00:13:15,409 --> 00:13:16,459
How horrible.

274
00:13:17,659 --> 00:13:21,229
And the people in the submarine,
all of these things and the people

275
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,269
in Ukraine we feel for it all.

276
00:13:26,279 --> 00:13:28,170
But do we let it debilitate us?

277
00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:30,569
Do, do we let it paralyze
us in what we can do?

278
00:13:30,569 --> 00:13:33,930
No, there's nothing I can do
about that thing right now.

279
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,529
And it's not a fight that
I'm choosing to take on.

280
00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:39,569
I cannot take on every fight.

281
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,189
You cannot take on every fight.

282
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,219
So you choose what fight to take on.

283
00:13:44,219 --> 00:13:49,409
That's the genuine spiritual journey,
and take on your own first, reduce

284
00:13:49,409 --> 00:13:52,529
your suffering, and then you won't
put your suffering onto others.

285
00:13:54,104 --> 00:13:56,714
Does that, that's really
important actually.

286
00:13:56,714 --> 00:13:57,734
I never thought about that.

287
00:13:58,154 --> 00:13:59,564
That wasn't even in my notes.

288
00:13:59,984 --> 00:14:04,274
So deal with your pain, deal
with your suffering, and then

289
00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:05,594
you'll still deal with pain.

290
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:09,134
You'll feel it so much deeper,
but you are able to help others.

291
00:14:09,884 --> 00:14:12,584
You are able to hold space forever.

292
00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:14,624
Others, it's not a matter
of fixing their pain.

293
00:14:15,359 --> 00:14:18,449
Someone comes to me with a
broken leg, I'm not a doctor.

294
00:14:18,449 --> 00:14:19,920
I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll fix that.

295
00:14:20,339 --> 00:14:24,660
No, they just want someone
probably to go, yeah, that sucks.

296
00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:26,040
How are you coping?

297
00:14:27,239 --> 00:14:29,069
That's healing itself.

298
00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:31,920
Hope that makes sense.

299
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,520
So the spiritual journey is about
deepening your emotional spectrum.

300
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,850
You feel things on the
other side much better.

301
00:14:39,855 --> 00:14:42,340
You feel more joy, you
feel more excitement.

302
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,810
The enlightenment, the heart.

303
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:48,290
Orgasms.

304
00:14:48,410 --> 00:14:51,830
It was called One Day to Me, you know,
have you ever had a heart orgasm?

305
00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:54,320
I was like, no, that's interesting.

306
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:55,250
What's that?

307
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,370
And they said, it's when you
are sitting or you're driving

308
00:14:58,370 --> 00:15:02,090
somewhere, you're doing something
and you feel that amazing, and

309
00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:06,080
you feel this radiant light coming
from within and you feel warm and

310
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,980
you feel comfortable, and it's
just, everything's in place and

311
00:15:09,985 --> 00:15:13,100
you're in tune with the universe,
and the energy is just perfect.

312
00:15:13,910 --> 00:15:18,620
I was like, yeah, normally when
I'm out in the car or listening to

313
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:22,700
my favorite music and reminiscing
and you see a butterfly and

314
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,950
you just feel absolutely great.

315
00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:25,970
Yes.

316
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,280
So apparently it's
called a heart orgasm.

317
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:29,300
Who knew?

318
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:31,280
But yeah.

319
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,960
Have you ever had a heart orgasm?

320
00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:37,640
That's one way of like actually
starting up a conversation.

321
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:38,480
You just go up to someone.

322
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,640
Oh, by the way, how's your
spiritual journey going?

323
00:15:40,645 --> 00:15:42,170
Have you ever had a heart orgasm?

324
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:43,520
That'd be funny, wouldn't it?

325
00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:47,450
If you ever bum into me
in person, ask me that.

326
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:48,710
That'd be so funny.

327
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:53,090
A, I'd know you listening to
my podcast, and B, my face

328
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:55,670
would probably just like, Okay.

329
00:15:57,770 --> 00:16:01,940
You know, our chimp in our minds
always go to that place, don't it?

330
00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:02,510
You know?

331
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,560
Always does.

332
00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:04,700
Well, mine does.

333
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:05,660
I'm projecting now.

334
00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:08,540
But anyway, so what else is
about the spiritual journey?

335
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,460
So we deepen our emotion.

336
00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:15,290
We build a spectrum of
more joy, more pain, but we

337
00:16:15,295 --> 00:16:16,790
don't stay there very often.

338
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:19,070
So we also build resilience.

339
00:16:19,865 --> 00:16:24,545
And the resilience is, we know things
will change, so we're okay with it

340
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,375
because we know we've already got it.

341
00:16:26,825 --> 00:16:28,235
We know we've already dealt with it.

342
00:16:28,865 --> 00:16:33,185
We know down the line things will
be okay and it's not permanent.

343
00:16:34,175 --> 00:16:36,364
You know, I'm paralyzed
just below my neck.

344
00:16:36,844 --> 00:16:39,695
And one of the things we're
paralyzed is your body

345
00:16:39,695 --> 00:16:41,195
functions don't always work.

346
00:16:41,915 --> 00:16:44,975
And one of the most difficult
things I go through probably

347
00:16:44,979 --> 00:16:47,405
once or twice a month is when my.

348
00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:51,890
Now then, I'm sorry to give you this
image, but Well, my bowels and all

349
00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:56,420
don't work properly and the worst
case scenario, and I'm lying on

350
00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:59,300
my bed and the carers have had to
clean me up several times and it

351
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:01,100
is an absolute bloody nightmare.

352
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:04,040
And I'm lying down and I'm in pain.

353
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,449
I got massive headache.

354
00:17:05,989 --> 00:17:08,239
It's just the worst case scenario.

355
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:15,110
And if my life was that, I, I dunno
if I'd like to live, but I know.

356
00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:18,619
I have the wisdom because of the
spiritual journey, because of all

357
00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:22,699
these things that my life isn't
that, that's parts of my life.

358
00:17:22,730 --> 00:17:25,310
I ex, that's an experience in my life.

359
00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:26,869
It's not my life.

360
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:31,189
So I know by lunchtime or by
tea time, I'll be up in the

361
00:17:31,189 --> 00:17:35,210
chair and things will not be
that bad, and it's that simple.

362
00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:36,799
Okay?

363
00:17:36,859 --> 00:17:39,259
I dunno if it's that
simple, but certainly more

364
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,819
difficult for my carers.

365
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:45,514
But yeah, sometimes when I'm in
pain, sometimes when life is really,

366
00:17:45,514 --> 00:17:50,495
really tough, I've gotta remember
that this isn't permanent and

367
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,264
that's that emotional resilience.

368
00:17:53,554 --> 00:17:55,324
So what is spiritual bypassing?

369
00:17:56,375 --> 00:18:01,605
Spiritual bypassing is a concept
by John Wellwood, and what

370
00:18:01,685 --> 00:18:05,975
John says is ba, basically
it's denying their emotions.

371
00:18:06,815 --> 00:18:08,375
Denying these deep emotions.

372
00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:11,375
I don't wanna feel them because
I wanna feel joy all the time.

373
00:18:11,645 --> 00:18:13,085
So I'm gonna get rid of my pain.

374
00:18:13,445 --> 00:18:16,924
And I often come across these
people that will hug trees and

375
00:18:16,924 --> 00:18:21,485
I'm love and I'm this spiritual
person that just feels happy.

376
00:18:21,485 --> 00:18:27,514
And how long does it last you think
to yourself, how many times have you

377
00:18:27,514 --> 00:18:32,074
done it that you are in a good place
and you think that's it, and then

378
00:18:32,074 --> 00:18:34,475
suddenly, boom, what bottom again?

379
00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:38,179
Because it will always, it
will always come up, you know,

380
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:43,010
sure as hell as taxes and
government will do dumb things.

381
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:47,120
You're gonna hit rock bottom
again and again, and it may

382
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,830
not be bang on rock bottom.

383
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:54,290
The spiritual journey just makes
us bounce a little higher and a

384
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:57,560
little quicker, you know, instead
of tumbling along the bottom.

385
00:18:58,324 --> 00:19:00,065
That's a good analogy
for the suffering.

386
00:19:00,335 --> 00:19:03,725
So suffering is when you hit
the bottom and you bumble

387
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,344
along, scraping and hurting.

388
00:19:05,824 --> 00:19:08,795
The spiritual journey is you bounce
off the bottom and you come back.

389
00:19:09,784 --> 00:19:10,235
I love it.

390
00:19:10,385 --> 00:19:11,675
That works, doesn't it?

391
00:19:12,545 --> 00:19:15,365
You know, I feel like I need to
change the title of the podcast now.

392
00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:18,875
You know, the bouncing ball
of the spiritual journey.

393
00:19:20,465 --> 00:19:21,245
I just love it.

394
00:19:21,304 --> 00:19:21,784
It's brilliant.

395
00:19:21,935 --> 00:19:22,594
It works.

396
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:25,654
But yeah, you can see
what I mean though.

397
00:19:25,924 --> 00:19:30,275
The spiritual journey is not about
less suffering, and if you're

398
00:19:30,275 --> 00:19:33,304
trying to deny those feelings
and you are trying to deny

399
00:19:33,935 --> 00:19:37,775
these feelings of deepness, you
won't get the feelings of joy.

400
00:19:38,614 --> 00:19:42,125
It's like taking antidepressants
and I've, I taken

401
00:19:42,185 --> 00:19:43,715
antidepressants twice in my life.

402
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:45,125
I am not against them.

403
00:19:45,574 --> 00:19:47,705
I, I think they're right.

404
00:19:48,139 --> 00:19:49,009
With a doctor.

405
00:19:49,009 --> 00:19:53,100
If a doctor offers them, I
think you should take them.

406
00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:59,220
I think it's part of getting
over a, a moment in your life.

407
00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:06,330
I think I'm not against them when I
hit rock bottom with my bankruptcy.

408
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,170
I took antidepressants for a
year and it really helped me out.

409
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,240
But what they do is they, they
dule your feelings, they dull

410
00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:15,990
your pain, and they dule your joy.

411
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:19,875
So, You know, you ain't gonna
have those heart orgasms if

412
00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:22,395
you are on antidepressants
because you don't get there.

413
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:25,365
You don't have that
rush and vice versa.

414
00:20:25,365 --> 00:20:25,965
You don't have to think.

415
00:20:26,265 --> 00:20:28,965
So it keeps you in that
spectrum in the middle.

416
00:20:29,745 --> 00:20:33,135
So the spiritual journey is about
opening up and experiencing all

417
00:20:33,135 --> 00:20:37,725
these, and the problem is the sp, the
bypassing, the spiritual journey will

418
00:20:37,725 --> 00:20:39,825
mean you either fall into it deeply.

419
00:20:40,635 --> 00:20:43,695
And you'll find it really
hard to get out because you

420
00:20:43,695 --> 00:20:46,365
haven't built the resilience,
you haven't felt it properly.

421
00:20:46,665 --> 00:20:47,595
It will come up.

422
00:20:47,865 --> 00:20:51,555
Or you go into that joy part and
you try to cling onto it so hard

423
00:20:52,005 --> 00:20:56,045
that you cannot you're so fearful
of letting go because you're in

424
00:20:56,050 --> 00:20:57,545
this wonderful moment of joy.

425
00:20:58,850 --> 00:21:03,740
Yeah, I know friends that literally
find it really difficult to go in

426
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:06,860
amongst the most difficult times
because they haven't built the

427
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,030
resilience to be able to be there.

428
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:12,380
Now, if you can be with your
family, if you can be with the

429
00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:15,740
most difficult people in your life,
I'm not saying my carer's the most

430
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:16,940
difficult people, they're not.

431
00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:22,280
But I've got people that are around
me nearly all the time that I wouldn't

432
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,350
overly choose to be around that much.

433
00:21:24,890 --> 00:21:29,090
You know, I love them to bits, but
they're not my partners that they're

434
00:21:29,090 --> 00:21:31,040
not people that you overly choose.

435
00:21:31,045 --> 00:21:32,990
They're paid to look
after me and be around me.

436
00:21:33,290 --> 00:21:38,330
So they're my bodhisattvas . They're
people that teach me constantly that

437
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:44,990
you know that life is in that middle
of not always sunshine and roses.

438
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:46,760
That little bit of friction.

439
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,500
Teaching me it's not always perfect,
and what it gives me is that

440
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:56,390
ability to be with them and still
be in a place of happiness with

441
00:21:56,390 --> 00:21:57,950
that happiness line in the middle.

442
00:21:58,730 --> 00:22:02,360
And the happiness line is not
above where it's all joy and happy.

443
00:22:02,690 --> 00:22:02,990
It's not.

444
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:04,910
It's in the mundane, it's
in the doing the who ring.

445
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:08,780
It's in the conversations
that I'm not that exciting.

446
00:22:09,470 --> 00:22:12,290
It's in the normalness of every day.

447
00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:17,600
That's where the happiness is because,
If you are there and then you suddenly

448
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:22,100
have a bad day and you go below
it, you'll suddenly realize, oh, I

449
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:23,600
just wanna get back to the mundane.

450
00:22:24,530 --> 00:22:26,960
I long for the day when
I can just pick up the

451
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,340
Hoover and Hoover my house.

452
00:22:29,330 --> 00:22:29,990
Think about it.

453
00:22:30,170 --> 00:22:32,630
How many times have you just wanted
to get back to doing the dishes

454
00:22:32,635 --> 00:22:33,680
when something goes badly wrong?

455
00:22:35,165 --> 00:22:36,995
Yeah, and that's what it's about.

456
00:22:36,995 --> 00:22:40,685
It's realizing that happiness is
in the mundane, that you'll feel

457
00:22:40,685 --> 00:22:44,705
things deeply both ends and you'll
suffer a whole lot less because

458
00:22:44,705 --> 00:22:47,945
you won't be scraping along a
bottom like that bouncing ball.

459
00:22:49,685 --> 00:22:50,705
I hope that helps.

460
00:22:52,025 --> 00:22:54,905
If this podcast helps you in
any way, please subscribe.

461
00:22:55,505 --> 00:22:57,545
Please leave a review.

462
00:22:57,605 --> 00:22:58,475
Let me know.

463
00:22:58,715 --> 00:23:02,615
That makes what I'm doing well,
what I'm not doing well, and.

464
00:23:02,995 --> 00:23:07,825
Yeah, I've got another podcast,
inner Peace Meditations, and just

465
00:23:07,825 --> 00:23:11,725
search for it on your favorite
podcasting platform, apple or Spotify.

466
00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:16,315
And if you wanna support me in what
I do, bring in less suffering to

467
00:23:16,315 --> 00:23:20,965
the world, more joy, more deeper
feelings, then you can always head

468
00:23:20,965 --> 00:23:26,365
over to thankyousteven.com and
all my links are there and you

469
00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:27,805
can treat me to a virtual hug.

470
00:23:28,495 --> 00:23:29,395
You are awesome.

471
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:30,145
Thank you.

472
00:23:30,265 --> 00:23:30,565
And.

473
00:23:32,795 --> 00:23:34,505
Talking about the
feeling things deeply.

474
00:23:34,985 --> 00:23:35,525
I love you.