Dealing with change – Here is a way to take control

You ever find yourself spiralling in a tailspin you didn’t see coming? Yeah, so did I. Blindsided by a break-up, I plunged into a chasm of emotions that hit me like a freight train. It’s the brutal yet eye-opening wake-up calls that make you realise, dealing with change is no picnic. It’s like life takes you by the scruff of your neck and shakes you until you wake the hell up.

I turned to drinking, not in a wild, reckless sense, but in a desperate bid to snag a few hours of sleep. Southern Comfort became my nightly lullaby. You ever find that false peace in a glass of something strong? Let’s keep it real: it’s a slippery slope. For two weeks, I operated on liquid courage to keep my thoughts at bay. Two glasses soon turned into two bigger glasses. So, what the hell was I doing? That’s the question that smacked me in the face.

The Turning Point

One fateful night, my mind flicked a switch. I was teetering down a road paved with dread and despair, but in that moment, the scales tipped. It wasn’t some drawn-out process. Change slapped me hard, telling me I had suffered enough. Recognise that? That guttural ache that tells you, “Enough is bloody enough.” That’s your ticket out.

Breaking the Cycle

I still wrestled with jealousy, shame, and fear; a merry-go-round of dark emotions. But that night, I swapped the bottle for a book—James Allen’s “As A Man Thinketh.” Now, I’m not a big reader, dyslexic since the age of six, but guess what? That book was my lifeline. I crawled through it, but it was worth it. Reading became a catalyst for profound transformation in my life.

The Power of Now

That’s the thing about dealing with change. It’s not a marathon; it’s a single, defining sprint—a leap of faith. We get stuck thinking about all the changes we’ll make ‘someday,’ without realising that ‘someday’ is a mythical land where change never happens. In the words of Richard Rohr, “The most courageous thing we will ever do is bear humbly the mystery of our own reality.”

Your Road to Change

Is it time to stop pacing up and down the hallway of indecision? You can flinch all you want at life’s challenges, but remember what Jack Kornfield said, “In the end, just three things matter: How well we have lived. How well we have loved. How well we have learned to let go.” Change is about deciding you’ve had enough and having the guts to do something about it.

So let’s get to it:

  1. Identify what’s draining your soul.
  2. Make a decisive choice to change it.
  3. Replace it with something empowering.
  4. Write it down; plaster it everywhere if you have to.
  5. Rejoice every damn time you stick to your resolve.

The monumental shifts in life don’t happen in the slow grind; they happen in that single moment of raw, unfiltered determination.

So, what’s that nagging thing you’re itching to change in your life? Isn’t it about time you took that bold step?

portrait photo of Steven Webb in a checked shirt and yellow top

About Steven Webb
Steven Webb is a Zen Buddhist meditation teacher, former Mayor of Truro, and host of the Stillness in the Storms and Inner Peace Meditations podcasts. Paralysed at 18 and reborn through a “dark night of the soul” at 40, he now guides millions worldwide (including one of Insight Timer’s most popular sleep practices) to find peace without perfection. By day, he’s a Truro City Councillor and Lib Dem candidate, advocating for dignity-first policies and community energy projects. Oh, and he once towed a replica helicopter 500 miles in his wheelchair to fundraise for Cornwall Air Ambulance.

“The breath knows how to breathe. Our job? Just allow it.”

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Weekly Calm Insights

Weekly Calm is my weekly newsletter with links to my latest podcast episode, guided meditations and a little bit about me. Working on the weekly part, mostly couple times a month.