Skip to content
From the journal

The Raw Truth About Moving On: Burn Your Ships

By Steven Webb

21 October 2023

How to move on when you don't want to

This meditation is and intended to be used

The Unthinkable Command of Hernan Cortes

When Hernan Cortes, a Spanish conquistador, set foot on Mexican shores with 600 soldiers in 11 ships 500 years ago, he issued a command that boggled the mind: “Burn the ships.” In a war situation where his soldiers were severely outnumbered and should’ve been doomed, they prevailed. How? By eliminating the option to retreat, they put their all into moving forward.

Is “Never Burn Your Bridges” Always Right?

We often hear the phrase, “Never burn your bridges.” In some situations, it holds merit. But let’s get real—when you’re itching to sever ties with someone or something that’s sapping your life force, keeping the way back open hampers your progress. What’s more crucial—pleasing a societal adage or reclaiming your sense of peace?

The Necessity of ‘No Return’

Why is burning your bridges so vital? Let’s face it, the prospect of change is intimidating. Our instincts often drive us back to what’s familiar—even if it’s a toxic environment. That’s the kicker. When you have no choice but to move on, you’ll do it, come hell or high water.

The Role of Hope: A Double-Edged Sword

Ah, hope—the sweet nectar that makes suffering bearable. It’s beneficial in the short term; it can help you weather the storms of life. But when you lean on hope for too long, it becomes a crutch. It deludes you into thinking that a miserable situation will spontaneously improve. You’re essentially waiting for a wild horse to return—it’s not going to happen.

Suffering Versus Pleasure: The Harsh Balance

Here’s the bit where we get raw. What’s your suffering-to-pleasure ratio? No one lives a life entirely devoid of pain, but how much agony are you tolerating for a smidgen of pleasure? If you believe you’ve endured enough, then you need to ask yourself: Have I really suffered enough?

The Two Parts of Grief: Loss and Rebuilding

Grief is a two-step process. First, there’s the loss, the acute pain that makes your soul ache. Then comes the remaking of life—the transformative process where you shed your old skin and step into a new reality. If you’re truly done with suffering, burn those ships. Delete that number. Remove that person from Facebook.

However, if you haven’t had enough, know this—your suffering is a choice. You can moan all you like, but the power to move on lies within you. No self-help book or friendly advice can pull you out of your situation. You need to decide when enough is enough.

Your Next Steps: Rebuilding Ships

When you’ve successfully moved on and started living the life you truly want, then—and only then—can you start rebuilding those ships. You’ll be doing it from a position of strength, not desperation.

There’s a stark beauty in burning your ships, for it frees you from the chains of the past. As you move on, remember this: Your new life starts the moment you let go of what no longer serves you.

portrait photo of Steven Webb in a checked shirt and yellow top
A little more about Steven

Weekly Calm

One calm email.
Every Sunday.

A little space to pause, an honest thought to sit with, and a reminder that you’re not doing this alone. Join and my free book, 5 Simple Practices for Inner Peace, is yours straight away.

Join Weekly Calm

Free to join. Leave whenever you like.

A steaming latte in a ceramic mug with a small chip near the bottom of its handle, a tiny rim chip and a fine repaired crack, labelled Weekly Calm with Steven Webb