When Hernan Cortes, a Spanish conquistador, set foot on Mexican shores with 600 soldiers in 11 ships 500 years ago, he issued a command that boggled the mind: “Burn the ships.” In a war situation where his soldiers were severely outnumbered and should’ve been doomed, they prevailed. How? By eliminating the option to retreat, they put their all into moving forward.
We often hear the phrase, “Never burn your bridges.” In some situations, it holds merit. But let’s get real—when you’re itching to sever ties with someone or something that’s sapping your life force, keeping the way back open hampers your progress. What’s more crucial—pleasing a societal adage or reclaiming your sense of peace?
Why is burning your bridges so vital? Let’s face it, the prospect of change is intimidating. Our instincts often drive us back to what’s familiar—even if it’s a toxic environment. That’s the kicker. When you have no choice but to move on, you’ll do it, come hell or high water.
Ah, hope—the sweet nectar that makes suffering bearable. It’s beneficial in the short term; it can help you weather the storms of life. But when you lean on hope for too long, it becomes a crutch. It deludes you into thinking that a miserable situation will spontaneously improve. You’re essentially waiting for a wild horse to return—it’s not going to happen.
Here’s the bit where we get raw. What’s your suffering-to-pleasure ratio? No one lives a life entirely devoid of pain, but how much agony are you tolerating for a smidgen of pleasure? If you believe you’ve endured enough, then you need to ask yourself: Have I really suffered enough?
Grief is a two-step process. First, there’s the loss, the acute pain that makes your soul ache. Then comes the remaking of life—the transformative process where you shed your old skin and step into a new reality. If you’re truly done with suffering, burn those ships. Delete that number. Remove that person from Facebook.
However, if you haven’t had enough, know this—your suffering is a choice. You can moan all you like, but the power to move on lies within you. No self-help book or friendly advice can pull you out of your situation. You need to decide when enough is enough.
When you’ve successfully moved on and started living the life you truly want, then—and only then—can you start rebuilding those ships. You’ll be doing it from a position of strength, not desperation.
There’s a stark beauty in burning your ships, for it frees you from the chains of the past. As you move on, remember this: Your new life starts the moment you let go of what no longer serves you.
You've just read an article by Steven Webb — Guiding you through the most difficult times. Here is a link to my podcast Stillness in the Storms and Inner Peace Meditations.
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