EP13 – Why BEING ENOUGH Is More Important Than Perfect

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The transcript of the podcast

Every now and again, I think everybody in their life feels not enough. And this podcast is all about you. If you feel sometimes that you’re not enough, whether it’s in a relationship or whether you’re not achieving your goals or what you want to do in life and you just don’t think you’re ready, this podcast is for you. I’m Steven Webb, your host and welcome to Living Deeper Lives, the podcast that used to be called Stillness in the Storms of Life, but we’ve changed it because we’re looking deeper into the full meaning of living a full human life with all the feelings and all the trimmings. We’ve just had Christmas. It’s Boxing Day today. So it’s like life with all the trimmings. It’s like your normal roast, the Christmas day roast, that’s what living deeper lives mean. No point living a life unless you can experience everything.

So today we’re talking about feeling enough. And I think everybody at one time in their lives don’t feel enough. One of my favorite quotes is by Alberto Salazar, a long distance runner. And I know in recent years he’s had a doping a scandal but this quote still stands for everybody, and it says, “I had as many doubts as anyone else. Standing on the starting line we’re all cowards.” And I think that comes down to not believing we are enough.

Every time I go live, I study out for the live and I put out my points that I’m going to talk about, and even on this, I’ve got it all here in front of me. I’ve got my notes, I’ve got in my head why I’m going to say. And then you turn on the mic and the doubts kick in. Those little voices inside of you. “You’re going to say something wrong,” or “You’re not going to… It’s not going to be a great podcast. It’s not going to be a great message. You’re not going to do it justice.” All those little voices so loud within us. And I think it comes down to we’re all the same. I think we all feel like that.

And I know we have parents and we have people that love us that mean well, and they tell us how perfect we are and how amazing we are. I always remember BBC done a study on born talent. And they come to the conclusion that there’s very little born talent. You might have circumstances and perhaps if you’re a tall, you’re not going to become a jockey and things like that. Most of you draw as children, and then you go and present your work of art, your Picasso to your parents, “Oh, what is it?” Because you’ve got to ask, because it is just lines literary and you cannot even make out the colors sometimes. And they go like, “Oh, it’s a firetruck,” or “It’s a Teddy,” or “It’s a doll.” And you go, “Oh, wow, that’s amazing. That’s a brilliant poster,” or “A brilliant picture.” But then they believe that they cannot produce the same masterpiece again so they fail to do it, and they get frightened to do it.

So although we praise these children up and we praise them up for being the most beautiful, the most amazing, the most talented, it actually has the opposite effect. And it makes them fearful of not being able to produce the same results again. And I did this home with my daughter. Whenever she didn’t feel enough or whenever she felt down, I would tell her how amazing she was. And I did it from what I believe was the depth from my heart. And I did it for the right reasons, but little did I know, she just never believed me.

And 15 years on she still feels that she’s not enough. I’ve been working on this, this year. I’ve been running from doing the inner peace academy and every time I go to go live, I sit here almost terrified of getting everything wrong. Terrified of not being enough, not being able to do enough for the people listening. Not been able to help them. And I know the big picture of it is not about that. And I know I am enough. But knowing it and living at two different things. So this year I brought my daughter a tree of life because we were talking about how the tree symbolizes the roots and the trunk and the branches of opinion, belief and the roots of who we really are. And the next podcast is about that. But we were talking about that. So I brought little tree of life and because her name’s Kember spelled with a K, you can never get anything with her name on it.

So I got engraved, “Kember Webb,” and in the outer ring I got engraved, “Have and always enough.” And the person doing the engraving send me an email back and said, “Are you sure that’s right? It doesn’t sound right to me.” And I said, “Yeah, that’s perfectly right.” And I explained the story to her. I said I wanted my daughter to always feel like she is enough. She always has been enough and always will be enough. And when we sit in that we are enough, that’s so much easier than sitting in, “I am perfect.” When we sit in, “I am perfect and everything is perfect and everything’s just sweet and beautiful and wonderful,” it feels uncomfortable. There’s nothing comfortable about perfection. It’s not comfortable because it doesn’t exist. How can you sit in something that does not exist? But if we sit in, “I am enough, you are enough.” It then gives us confidence to take the next step because that’s what it all boils down to is taking the next step.

It’s not about getting to where you need to go. It’s not about to having all the knowledge and the wisdom and the skills to get to your final destination. Nobody sets out in school with all the knowledge to pass the exams. Nobody sets out to climb a mountain with knowledge of every step they go into take. You get the broad knowledge and you learn along the way and every single time you do it and every single step you do, you learn vital knowledge to take the next step. You may not have, like I say, all the skills or the talent to go to exactly where you need to be in two or three years time and exactly where you want to be, but you have everything to take the next step.

But feeling like we’re not enough is a good way for the body to keep itself in the comfort zone. No one can hurt you sound the sofa, you know? It’s why kids watch the same movie again and again and again. They like to know what’s coming up. They like to know, especially with Disney movies, you have the heroes journey, don’t you? You have the hero that’s playing around a home and everything’s fine. Everybody’s happy and then something goes wrong and he’s cast out and he goes off on a journey and he loses who he is and then he has to find who he is and then he has to come back.

And children don’t like watching a new movie because they don’t know. When he gets cast out, it upsets them. They don’t know at that point is going to return and everything’s going to be okay. But once they watch the movie a couple of times, they learn it’s going to turn out okay in the end and that’s what they’re waiting for. There’s not a sitting down to watch the journey, watch the movie. They’re sitting down waiting for the hero at the end. And they know it’s coming so they feel comfortable.

The problem is we don’t know the journey ahead of us. We didn’t know the future. So we’re frightened to take that step. And one of the tricks, the subconscious mind will work is by making you believe you are not enough. Making you believe you’re not capable. You’re not strong enough. You haven’t got the wisdom or you haven’t got the talent to be able to do it so, “Stay where you are.” So what does that look like when you’re living a life that you do feel like you are enough?

Well you have more confidence. You live in the moment whole because you don’t have to prepare so much for the future because you don’t have to fear it so much. You realize that you’ve got all the tools you need to live and to survive and to get on with the life and nothing can take you down.

And going back to the movies again, you know the kind of movie that you got the hero in the movie and you got the coward in the movie. And they might be saving somewhere or doing something and they looked down there. They’re just about to come across one big problem and then the camera glimpses to another problem that’s just around the corner just to keep your suspense. So you know more than what they do. That the moment that over this little jam, they’ve got another one, but the coward sees it. And the coward looks are the hero as if to say, “Do you know what, why bother. There’s nothing we can do here.” And the hero looks back at the coward and says, “We’ll worry about that when we get there.” “But what if we can’t?” And the hero will say, “We will deal with that. Do you trust me?”

And that’s what living life is enough. It’s, the belief in yourself. So that’s what I want you to remember. I want you to remember those three words, I am enough. And just do it a few times a day. Just take a deep breath, place your hand on your heart and just say, “I am enough.” And when you do that, that’s how you love yourself. Yeah, loving yourself is really that simple. It’s a belief in yourself. You’re not knocking yourself. You’re not saying, “You’re useless, you can’t do this. You have to fear this because you’re not enough.” Just believe in, “You are enough.” And sitting in that is loving yourself. Self confidence, self esteem, self love, most of all, just three magic words; I am enough. And you have to feel it through out your body

So you can do this right now. Just take a couple of deep breaths. You may want to close your eyes and I want you to place one hand over your heart or flat and just relax and I want you to say within your head, “I am enough. I am enough.” It gives you a kind of feeling of confidence and a belief that you are in control of your destiny. I am enough. You are enough. You have everything right now in your life, within you and externally to be enough.

That if you support what I do you enjoy these podcasts, please subscribe and hit the review and let me know what you think. And if you want to live a more deeper, meaningful life, head over to stevenwebb.com and that’s where you can support me by either downloading a free meditation or buy me a coffee. That would be awesome. Take care. Thank you for listening and have a great day.

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