Steven Webb
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Giving Space: Love Without Taking Over

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stay close without stepping in too quickly.

This week I want to talk about one of the hardest forms of love: giving someone space. Not walking away. Not going cold. Not pretending we do not care. But staying close without taking over.

It came up for me while talking with my daughter, noticing how quickly I wanted to jump in with answers, advice, solutions and opinions. And I could see the same thing in myself, in council meetings, in family conversations, and even in the way I meet my own thoughts and feelings. Something arises and I want to fix it before I have really heard it.

But space is not neglect. Real space says: I am here. I trust you. Take your time.

In this episode, I explore why the instinct to help is not wrong, but why fixing too quickly can sometimes be about easing our own discomfort. We look at the small pause after a feeling appears, the gap between notes in music, the three seconds before we answer, and the strange wisdom that often appears when we stop crowding the moment.

Key topics:

  • Why giving space is not the same as walking away
  • The urge to fix the people we love, especially our children
  • How a few seconds of pause can let wisdom appear
  • Thoughts, feelings and body sensations that do not need an instant story
  • The gap between the notes, and why space gives life meaning
  • Council meetings, family tables, and the need to prove we know something
  • Asking whether we are helping or reducing our own discomfort
  • The three second rule for conversations, emotions and difficult moments

Companion meditation: IPM 105, Giving Space. A gentle Zen influenced meditation using the image of a closed shed and an open field to feel the difference between being crowded by what arises and giving it room to be seen clearly.

If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee: stevenwebb.uk

With thanks this week to: Cheryl, Nitya, Yvonne, Eleanor and Ryan, Karen, Lani, Jess and Stuart.

And thank you to the kind anonymous souls and everyone who supports the work quietly in the background. You keep this podcast advert-free. Thank you.

Create Space Around Your Thoughts

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

This is a gentle Zen influenced meditation on giving space to thoughts, feelings and body sensations.

Steven Webb guides you through the image of a closed shed and then an open field, so you can feel the difference between being crowded by what arises and giving it enough room to be seen clearly.

We begin by arriving just as we are. No forcing calm. No pushing thoughts away. No trying to fix every feeling that appears. A thought may appear, a feeling may appear, a pain may appear, or a worry may appear. The practice is to notice it without immediately following it, arguing with it, explaining it, or turning it into a problem.

Inside the closed shed, a thought or feeling can feel loud, close and urgent. It can seem as if it fills the whole space. Then the door opens. Light comes in. You step into a wider field with sky, air and room in every direction. The same thought may still be there, but now there is space around it. It is no longer the whole truth. It is something passing through.

This meditation is for anyone who feels crowded by their own thoughts, emotions, body sensations, worries or stories. It is also a companion practice for the Stillness in the Storms episode on giving space as a form of love.

Space does not mean distance from life. Space means just enough room to see clearly.

Who this meditation is for:

  • Anyone whose thoughts feel loud or crowded
  • People who want to stop fixing every feeling as soon as it appears
  • Listeners who find Zen helpful when it stays practical and grounded
  • Anyone learning to pause before reacting
  • People who need a little more room around worry, pain or emotion

What it may help with:

  • Creating a gap between awareness and reaction
  • Seeing thoughts and feelings more clearly
  • Softening the urge to fix everything immediately
  • Practising spaciousness through guided imagery
  • Returning to the body with more kindness and less pressure

If this meditation meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee: stevenwebb.uk

For The One Who Carries Others

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

The carer. The parent. The partner. The friend who always answers the phone. The one who keeps going because other people need them to.

This meditation is for that person.

In this gentle loving kindness practice, Steven Webb guides you to set down the weight of carrying others, just for a few minutes. Not forever. Not because you no longer care. But because the one who holds everyone else also needs to be held.

Using three simple phrases, may I be held, may I be soft, may I rest, this meditation helps you turn kindness back towards yourself before offering it to someone you care for, and then to all those quietly carrying others.

This is not about pretending the responsibility has gone. It is about softening your grip around it, giving your body a little room, and remembering that love is wider than the weight.

If you are emotionally tired, caring for someone, or simply used to being the strong one, this meditation is for you.

The First 30 Seconds: Why Every Feeling Is a Gift

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

The First 30 Seconds: Why Every Feeling Is a Gift

Your body’s fear response is not a fault. It is thirty seconds of something brilliant.

You hear two cars crash outside your door, or a horn behind you, or the word “bear” round a campfire, and before you have thought a single thought your body has already moved. This week I walk through what actually happens in those first thirty seconds, a bit of it borrowed from David Ji’s book Destressify. The adrenaline, the heart, the sugar your liver lets go, the hands that go cold so a cut would bleed less. None of it a malfunction. All of it the body doing the most competent, protective thing it knows.

Then I want to go further than the science. Fear is a gift. So is anxiety, alertness, even stress. We are taught to get rid of them, and I once sat on a show whose whole aim was to delete fear for good. I spent every break arguing the other way. The trouble is never the feeling. The trouble is when it takes over, when it runs eight hours a day, when it stops you doing the things you want to do. So we keep the whole stick, the joyful end and the hard end, instead of chopping the bad bits off and ending up with nothing. We hear the feeling, we understand it, we let it be there, and then we decide. Hear it, then decide. That is the whole thing.

Key topics:

  • What really happens in the body’s first thirty seconds, step by step
  • Why none of it is a malfunction, and why the calm ones round the campfire did not survive
  • Fear, anxiety, stress and alertness as gifts, and the show that wanted to delete fear
  • The healthy and unhealthy version of every feeling, including the misread “everything is just thoughts” version of Zen
  • The stick you keep chopping, and why you end up unable to tell the joy from the pain
  • Only ever seeing three colours, and what we miss when we numb the spectrum
  • The five second gap, and hearing the feeling before you decide what to do

Companion meditation: IPM 104 on Inner Peace Meditations. [insert IPM 104 title]

Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee: stevenwebb.uk

With thanks this week to:

A warm welcome to Susan, a brand new monthly supporter.

And a special word for Stuart, who reached two years as a monthly supporter this week. That is not a small thing.

To everyone who supported the show across these past two weeks: Addie, Amy, Barbara, Michael, Karen, Laura, David, Jenna and Mia, and Johnny.

And the kind anonymous souls and everyone on Insight Timer. You keep this podcast advert-free. Thank you.

Evening Meditation: Letting the Day Settle Down

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Meditation teacher Steven Webb offers a short evening practice for the moment when work is done but the day has not quite left the body. Around six minutes of quiet noticing for anyone coming home with the day still held in jaw, shoulders, and breath. Gentle, undemanding, and suitable for any seat, sofa, or floor.

Who this meditation is for

  • The commuter who has walked through the front door and still cannot feel home
  • The parent who has finished the day’s tasks and is still carrying the day’s noise
  • The remote worker who closed the laptop an hour ago and is still pacing the kitchen
  • Anyone whose shoulders are up by their ears at eight in the evening
  • The one who knows the day is over but cannot quite put it down

Key benefits

  • Releases the day’s residue from jaw, shoulders, and the small space behind the eyes
  • Marks a clear threshold between the working self and the rest of the evening
  • Settles the body without asking for any particular outcome
  • Three quiet wishes to let what was done, what came, and what is unfinished rest
  • Short enough to do before dinner, long enough to make a difference

If you’d like to contact Steven or support his work, go to https://stevenwebb.uk

Waking Up to Body Betrayal: How to Find Peace in the Pain

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

Waking Up to Body Betrayal: How to Find Peace in the Pain

Your body isn’t letting you down. It’s been carrying you all along.

Do you ever wake up and just know it’s going to hurt the second you move? I do. Most mornings. This week I want to talk about what to do with a body that feels like it’s letting you down, betraying you, or just isn’t what it used to be. About the soldiers inside you that have been quietly repairing you all night and why they get tired. About the difference between pain (the fact) and suffering (the story you add on top). And about an ancient violin, which turned out to be the image I needed for the body I’ve been carrying for thirty years.

We are in a partnership with this body. It is not the enemy. It is the only one we get.

Key topics:

  • The morning moment when the body hurts before you’ve even moved
  • The soldiers inside you who repair you every night, and why they get tired as we age
  • Why we treat the body as the enemy when really we are this body
  • The “where are you, really?” tennis-ball thought experiment
  • The difference between pain (the fact) and suffering (the story we add)
  • Treating your body like an ancient violin: more careful, more respectful, a different tune

Companion meditation: A Morning Meditation for the Body You Wake Into – a gentle, lying-down practice for that moment before the day begins. Find it on Inner Peace Meditations.

Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee: stevenwebb.uk

With thanks this week to (this is actually three weeks worth):

New monthly supporter: Sin.

Monthly supporters whose contributions came in this cycle: Ellen, Dominique, Adam, Annie, Joe, Sujata, Senga, Jack, Glenn, Denise, Laurie, Audra, Rosie, Laura, Kasia, Megan, Alison, Mallory, Elizabeth, Stefan, Barb, Cheryl, Katarzyna, Jill, Tracey, Hannah, Emmanuelle, Rita, Julie, Daniel, María.

And the kind anonymous souls and everyone on Insight Timer. You keep this podcast advert-free. Thank you.

A Morning Meditation for the Body You Wake Into

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

A gentle, lying-down practice for the moment before the day begins.

Most of us meet our body for the first time each day in those first few minutes after waking, before we move. The shoulders that ache. The back that protests. The first stretch that tells us what kind of day we’re going to negotiate with.

This is a meditation for that moment. It’s permissive, soft, and meant to be done lying down, before you get up. We move slowly through the body and ask one simple question of each part: what do you need today? You may not get a clear answer. The practice is the asking, not the answer.

Suitable for anyone navigating a changing body, chronic pain, the ordinary aches of getting older, or simply a tired morning. Stay in bed for this one if you can.

Companion episode: Waking Up to Body Betrayal: How to Find Peace in the Pain on the Stillness in the Storms podcast. On the soldiers inside you, the difference between pain and the story you add, and the ancient violin you wake into.

Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

If this meditation meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee: stevenwebb.uk

Take care of yourself.

"I'm Fine": When It's Armour, When It's Honest, and How to Tell

Links to Steven Webb’s podcast and how you can support his work.

Two words I have said roughly 25,000 times. Most of them on autopilot.

Description

Two words. Probably the most common two words spoken in the English language. Two words I say almost every single morning, and you probably do too. I’m fine. In this episode I work out that I have said it about 25,000 times to my carers over the last 35 years, and almost none of those times did I actually stop and think about it. I want to look at why we say it, what it costs us, and what happens when we don’t. There is a Brené Brown quote, an old Zen master story I have always loved, a Thursday afternoon last week where I cried for 20 minutes and then bought a book on Amazon, and a small image about letting go before your hand hurts. You don’t have to stop saying I’m fine. You just have to notice when you do.

Key Topics

  • 25,000 mornings, two carers, and the most automatic answer in my life
  • Why “I’m fine” is armour, and why armour is not always the wrong thing to wear
  • The three reasons we wear it (and why “just think positive” is the worst advice in self help)
  • The cost of saying it on autopilot, especially to the people who actually want to hear you
  • An old Zen story about a master on his deathbed who said the most enlightened thing he could have said
  • Brené Brown on numbing emotions, and why you cannot block only the bad weather
  • A real Thursday afternoon I sat here and cried for 20 minutes, then immediately bought a book
  • The hand metaphor: I let go a little earlier than I used to, before my hand hurts

Companion Meditation

When Anxiety Visits (IPM101). Five minutes. You sit down, you say hello to whatever is actually here, and you ask it why it came. It is the practical opposite of saying “I’m fine.” Available on Insight Timer, Aura, and the Inner Peace Meditations podcast.

If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee at stevenwebb.uk.

Supporters

Alex, Nina, Zoe, A Ma, Kevin, Katarzyna, Deborah, Christopher, and Ariel for recent coffees and PayPal donations.

Special thanks: MumMik’s Cleaning Services for buying a course this week.

You keep this podcast advert free.

When Anxiety Visits: A Quick Meditation for Anxious Moments

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

Description:

Meditation teacher Steven Webb offers a short grounding meditation for those moments when anxiety has already shown up. Rather than trying to push it away, you greet it. You sit with it. You ask it why it came, and you listen, the way you’d listen to a friend who turned up at the door looking pale. It’s the practice of meeting an unwelcome feeling with curiosity instead of war.

Who this meditation is for:

  • Anyone with anxiety rising in the middle of a busy day
  • People who have been told to “calm down” or “breathe through it” and found that doesn’t reach the actual feeling
  • Listeners who want a quick reset, not a long sit
  • Anyone who has tried suppressing anxiety and found it gets louder

Key benefits:

  • A practical way to meet anxiety with curiosity rather than fight it
  • A short reset you can do anywhere (bus, desk, car park, between meetings)
  • A simple loving kindness close: may I be peaceful, may I be safe, may I trust this moment
  • Pairs with this week’s Stillness in the Storms episode on dropping the “I’m fine” armour

If you’d like to contact Steven or support his work, go to https://stevenwebb.uk

The Garden for Deep Sleep – (A Sleep Meditation)

Stevens new course: Finding Peace in Everyday Life (you choose how much to pay)

The Garden for Deep Sleep. A Spring Meditation for Drifting Off (Inner Peace Meditations Episode 100)

Description In this special 100th episode of Inner Peace Meditations, meditation teacher Steven Webb invites you into a small walled garden that only grows at night, and only when someone is resting there. Tonight, that someone is you. You settle onto a cushioned old bench, your body softens with each breath, and the garden quietly fills in around you. Bare earth becomes green shoots. Climbing roses thread the stone walls. Lavender and jasmine drift through the night air. There is nothing to do tonight except rest. Your stillness is the gardening.

A soft, slow meditation with a quiet nod to spring, designed to send you to sleep. Listen somewhere safe. You are not meant to make it to the end.

Who this meditation is for

  • Anyone who struggles to fall asleep
  • People with overactive minds at bedtime
  • Anyone who feels they should still be doing something, even at rest
  • Listeners who love gentle nature visualisations
  • Anyone marking the turn of the season into spring

Key benefits

  • Helps the body let go of the day
  • Quiets the mind enough for sleep to find you
  • Releases the pressure to make sleep happen
  • Encourages the listener to feel held by something gentle and unhurried
  • A soft place to land at the end of a long day

If you’d like to contact Steven or support his work, go to https://stevenwebb.uk