Feeling exhausted, helpless and lack motivation?

Feeling exhausted, helpless and lacking confidence. You desperately want to do something with your life. Any motivation or energy you had seems to have fucked off to a sunny destination without you.

What happened?

How did this happen?

How did I become this person?

You’re spending more time alone, anxious and feeling depressed. Stuck in a rut, and although you know what you should be doing, you don’t have the energy or the drive to do anything about it.

You hardly recognise the person you have become.

You know you have a purpose.

Inside there is deep-seated ambition desperately waiting to make a difference in the world, to leave a legacy. To find that inner spirit that you had as a child so you can become once again who you were before it all went wrong.

You wake up and tell yourself, I can do this‘ then by lunchtime, old habits are setting in, and suddenly six months later, you are feeling helpless, exhausted and beating yourself up for failing again.

I just want to be happy. Surely that is not too much to ask.

Why me? Why does life have to keep me down as it does? I feel like a blind person playing chicken on the busiest motorway in the world.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

Yeah well, it certainly does not feel like that. You don’t want to be stronger; you want a break.

Just a little time out.

Is it too much to ask?

You find that little bit of inspiration, and you tell yourself you can do this. Then you hit that circle of guilt and shame. You are uncomfortable, fear sets in then habits take you away from making the change. Then you are feeling guilty, which quickly goes to shame. At this point, you grasp anything for comfort to avoid the reality such as food, alcohol, narcotics or even sex.

And the cycle continues.

Does this sound like any part of your life?

This was me a few years ago. I had everybody telling me what I should be doing. Nobody really understood how tough my life was.

It’s easy for somebody on the outside, they look in and see a quick snapshot. A happy smiling face, a quick flippant reply ‘I’m fine…’ when in reality I was far from it.

Just think positive! Well, damn, why didn’t I think of that?

Give me a break. If it were that easy we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

At this point, I could insert numerous quotes, memes or inspirational videos. And yes they lift us temporarily; however, they do not change our lives.

The brutal reality is this; life is sometimes really damn tough. There is no easy way through.

We spend our life trying to avoid the pain, grabbing hold of the little pleasures in the hope that they will stay so we can disconnect from the underlying agony we are currently going through.

I wanted to do this blog because sometimes motivation is a load of bollocks, and like it or not it does not help most of the time. Go to YouTube, type motivational and instantly thousands of results.

Try it; change your life by watching a video. It doesn’t work.

Again like the quotes, it gives us that little bit of a buzz. That inner light within glows a little brighter temporarily. Then some asshole thought or situation pisses on it within hours.

A little blunt, yep. That’s life.

I broke my neck ended up severely paralysed, been heartbroken, cheated on, bankrupt and unsuccessfully attempted suicide. Life is flipping hard. And anybody that’s had a simple, easy life isn’t going to be prepared or experienced to deal with that curveball when it arrives. Because it will.

Take heart, and you are not alone. Reach out, others have overcome it. Take a breath, let’s hope that tomorrow things can be different.

I haven’t got 5 ways for you to get unstuck. I wanted you to know you are not alone.

3 ways to deal with overwhelming emotions.
Dealing with hard times.

19 Responses

  1. Very true! Being real about how you feel is one step of progress! Don’t like being told people are worse off blah blah blah! MY FEELINGS ARE MINE!

  2. This speaks deeply to me. I am blind and in a wheekchair from serious cancer. There are other things in my life that suck. Yes, to the getting inspiration for a day or two, then bang! Yes, lufe sucks. And no, people do not understand. But we go on. We HAVE to. Thanks formputting my feelings into wirds

    1. Hi Lorraine,

      Wow, that’s a lot to deal with. That’s the thing with inspiration, it doesn’t last. Everything is temporary, which is a good thing sometimes. How can anybody understand somebody else’s story?

      My pleasure, much appreciation – Steven

    1. Thank you John.

      It’s funny, when I stopped trying to write and just write it simply works. It is being in that heart centred awareness.

      Mindfully present – Steven

  3. I totally agree with you Steven. Of course, nobody likes to hear when things are going badly, but we have to be honest. Those who care will stay with us and those who don’t know where to go!!! It’s those times that we fall and getting up is the hard part, but that is where the inspiration comes from. We always have a choice. Thank you for sharing and I hope the people who need to read it get the same inspiration as I do. Keep up the good work and always love reading your blogs!

    1. Hi Theresa,

      That is very true, on the bright side it does filter out who holds us back. The ones that do truly care will always be there to listen. And absolutely, we always have a choice. It’s just very difficult to see it sometimes.

      Much appreciated, mindfully – Steven

  4. Good to know I’m not alone but at the same time It’s disheartening to know so many of us feel this way. I try to stay positive then something pisses me off and off I go. which in turn pisses me off at myself then the beatings commence. I just spend an awful lot of time pissed off at myself. It’s exhausting.

    1. Hi Suzi,

      Yeah, there is so much unnecessary suffering. It is how we get out of it is the problem. That continual loop that seems to drag us down.

      I don’t know if you joined my newsletter, but perhaps I can help. There is a form above, plus you get my book.

      Yours mindfully – Steven

  5. I love your honesty Steven – thank you. My partner passed away six months ago and for the past year, I’ve had to be strong and I thought I was coping well, but last week was one of those when everything goes wrong, or needed fixing and reality hit me. I went into meltdown, but I wouldn’t admit it to anyone else! It’s good to be able to be honest about my feelings with someone. Your lives have been a great help and I’m reading Mindful Grieving, which also is about giving ourselves permission to grieve and accepting it. I do feel exhausted, hopeless and so lonely sometimes, but thanks to you and everyone in the group, I know that I can get through this.

    1. Hi Tina,

      That’s a lot to go through. Yeah, it does at some point hit us! I agree it’s great to have a place where we can be honest. I haven’t heard of that book, I am reading a couple at the moment but I have put it on my list.

      Thank you Tina.

      Mindfully- Steven

  6. Great article Steven. It resonates deeply with me at the moment. However, after reading your story and those of some of your readers above, it puts my problems into perspective.
    Keep up the good work. Just subscribed to your newsletter and look forward to reading more of your articles.

    1. Thank you, Craig,

      Really appreciate that. It does put things in perspective, but then again it’s all relative. It’s like weightlifting, not everybody can bear the same burden. It depends on so many circumstances and where we are at the time.

      Thank you for subscribing, that’s awesome.

      Mindfully – Steven

  7. Inspiring words. And powerful personal experience you talk from Steve. ..very helpful to me and many others your insight and story. Keep pushing and keep it real.

    Suffering hurts it sure does mate know two ways about that.. Theres many stories of different people and let’s not also forget that of animal’s who of themselves have intense suffering as well in this life.

    Humanity that’s such a old fucker of a story, Great in some places and shit deep in others don’t you agree.
    Yep’ certainly a very old story that stretches right back from this point in time in history right up to the present again. Know getting out of that one !

    loneliness or suffering I don’t quite know!!
    Suffering his loneliness I suppose.
    Loneliness seems sometimes to be more painful when many people are around that don’t quite speak or understand where you are at with your suffering.. It begins to isolate and seperate you into a state of wanting to hide away from others don’t you think. And makes you lose confidence.
    It appears to be the little person inside who as documented every moment in his own life that he cares to remember and give thought to Suddenly succumbs to feelings and sensations of a kind inadequate sense and state of purpose and meaning.
    Its these frozen and moving film like moments in the suffering of the mind that are like needles that prick and stab at the heart of personal suffering pain physically or mentally or both.

    Someone. I overhead on the bus the other month say to someone else sitting besides stated in a passing comment.
    It’s all in the mind you know.
    It made me think in away she was right.
    We are sometimes through know thought of our own victims of comparables.
    Only suffering is measured by peace and stability of healthiness of body and mind and also that of others whow fair better.
    When it all goes wrong we begin to compare with other standards of stability of services that we may have taken granted for or rendered normal before.
    Mentally if we suffer we know via instinct what feels right and wrong.
    When things go wrong through accidents are others causing suffering deliberately.
    We know by instinct again this is not right to suffer this. Only in most cases we all know of the times before this or that.

    But I like to say to you Steve you are a real hero mate, not in just your own missgivings of your own circumstances. But in reaching out from the extension of your own understanding in order to sacrifice and help others. Very commendable of you.
    I think to myself Consciousness and self-awareness his hand delivered to oneself in most cases every day in its own dose of its own bitter sweet medicine through ones journey though life. What ever that maybe for a individual. It’s sometimes TaylorMade know matter how we would like to buck it’s trend and misfortune . It’s a mystery this thing called life.
    But Steve you have buckets of encouragement besides that lessen that struggle and journey for others no to feel alone. . Good on your mate.. your doing a great job at it…

    1. Hi Chris,

      Thank you for the in-depth comment. Really appreciate it.

      I am glad you found it helpful.

      I agree with you regarding humanities, we have come a long way but we still have a long way to go. On the plus side, I do believe is going in the right direction even if there’s just a few setbacks at the moment.

      You are absolutely right, I’ve been more lonely with people close to me that I haven’t felt a connection with than when I’ve been by myself.

      Yes, the little person. The little me!

      Yeah it is all in the mind, as well as the feelings. It’s difficult to realise it’s all in the mind until we become aware of it.

      And then it is a constant trying to remember that.

      Returning to the present, again and again and again.

      Regarding a hero, thank you. I’m learning to take compliments, and never sure what to say. So, thank you with a big grin on my face.

      Sounds like you are quite awake, consciously. It certainly does reduce the suffering. Not always the pain, but we don’t have to suffer for long. We can get over it quicker.


  8. Thank you, Steven. Just “found” you on Insight Timer — after listening and “discarding” dozens of meditation leaders, some for the dumb celestial music they all seem to lead with; some because they just sounded stupid; some for the timbre of their voice; and some for the idiocy/banality of their message. The I randomly clicked on “Steven Webb.” Voila — a human being whose brain, heart, voice, beliefs, approach and music (LOL) resonated. So here I am, looking forward to tuning in to your weekly online events and to reading and listening to some of your podcasts here on the site. You do valuable work in this crazy world. Thanks for being a voice of light in the dark.

    1. Hi, thank you for that lovely kind comment. I understand where you are coming from, I find I either resonate with them or not. And either way, it doesn’t matter. As long as we find more peace on the journey.

      I’m glad you are here, and I’m glad you’re now lending your voice. Feel free to book a coffee chat, I always like meeting people along the way.


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